Till Death Did us Apart... And No More I Love You's
They say speak not of the dead but good.. And if anyone were to find a single person in this entire planet who would have a grouse to air or have a personal peeve about Appa in their interactions with him and be able to justify it, please make it known to me and I would willingly indulge in a long drawn conclave or an for -all -to -see -and -hear debate and dispel any such nonsensical rhetoric about my dad and make all such hearsay totally null and void. Rescind and recant, ye mortals, for a diverse jury has been out with a unanimous verdict from ages now about Appa's amicable disposition, the ceaseless do-gooder, the humanitarian, the philanthropist, et al. And I had to write this as early as possible, because the emotive vulnerability is at a high and I am still foible to believe that I can't live normally in his perennial absence. Devout husband, terrific dad, great friend, loving uncle, magnanimous brother, brother-in-law numero uno.. Nah, these words sound so cliche and it would be typecasting him...for he was unique in a myriad number of ways, something which can't be put down with ease or contemplation..and the insouciance he brought in during his better days to those who banked on him,young or old,will be legendary.
Just 2 weeks after turning 72, Appa passed away on December 22nd, 2005 at 7:30 PM in the Intensive Care Unit of the Bangalore Hospital, a place he unwillingly frequented like an inveterate gambler over the past year, succumbing to a prolonged illness and a multitude of complications that made him a wreck, physically and mentally. Diffident yet, he chose to ride roughshod over it till the end, as he so frequently did during various phases of his life, coping all that was thrown at him with an admirably stoic will , and at the same time, a man resigned to the inevitable, a fate and an eventuality that no mortal who has walked the earth has ever managed to hoodwink. When death comes calling, there can often be no rhyme or reason, no precursor, and certainly no bagpipes. In dad's case though, the writing was pretty much on the wall, but there were hopes and signs that he would pull through again, as he had done so miraculously over the past few years, and as the docs quipped, outliving the cat that has nine lives..! Alas, it was not to be and as I was privy to the final sigh and the heave of the chest of his, a gamut of emotions ranging from numbness, vacuous, to a vicarious relief that he would have to endure no more divine retribution in this lifetime surged through the mind. Good riddance to Duphalac, Lasix, Flavedon, Nitrocontine, Vitcofol, Pantodac, Augmentin, Aldactone and the ubiquitous IV fluids and Dopamine, Oflin, Acyclovir, Crocin..and a plethora of other pharma stuff.. and enough of me playing the quack, deciding on the amount of Lasix to give based on the water logging, the amount of duphalac based on his bowel movements, the discerning of his condition that I got accustomed to, the cleansing of the pungent bile..Yes, Appa lived life a moribund way towards the end, lived many days like he was dying, walked a fine line, yet sprang back many a time, flattered to deceive.. as he himself used to tell the doctors wearily ... " What doctor, its become an Aaya Ram, Gayya Ram" scenario.. And Dr Bhat would quip back " Atleast you are coming back to us, the Gayya Ram often makes himself scarce after a couple of visits " !!
No sooner would he get home, he would hit the account books, make the few calls and, dear me,when mom fell a bit sick a while back, even cooked for us and how ! It gave him immense satisfaction to be among the chores again, be it watering the plants, starting the washing machine or hanging out the clothes to dry..but most of all to see me off to work in the morning, packing my lunch box, dusting my helmet, hand me all my stuff and then upon return, greet me with the famous " Hello Mukundu Mari..." and opening out to the bear hug, which he lately started shunning from me.. Sakkamma, Nan Kyli Aagala Inna, please... and call out to Amma thus .. Vasantha, please free me from this Kalla Kulla ;) And the lines which will be etched in my memory forever.. "Hogole, I did'nt fear my Boss, didn't fear my mom, my wife or anyone.. but you..you scare me sometimes.. Please Come, let's go to Vidyarthi Bhavan.. :)
Just 2 weeks after turning 72, Appa passed away on December 22nd, 2005 at 7:30 PM in the Intensive Care Unit of the Bangalore Hospital, a place he unwillingly frequented like an inveterate gambler over the past year, succumbing to a prolonged illness and a multitude of complications that made him a wreck, physically and mentally. Diffident yet, he chose to ride roughshod over it till the end, as he so frequently did during various phases of his life, coping all that was thrown at him with an admirably stoic will , and at the same time, a man resigned to the inevitable, a fate and an eventuality that no mortal who has walked the earth has ever managed to hoodwink. When death comes calling, there can often be no rhyme or reason, no precursor, and certainly no bagpipes. In dad's case though, the writing was pretty much on the wall, but there were hopes and signs that he would pull through again, as he had done so miraculously over the past few years, and as the docs quipped, outliving the cat that has nine lives..! Alas, it was not to be and as I was privy to the final sigh and the heave of the chest of his, a gamut of emotions ranging from numbness, vacuous, to a vicarious relief that he would have to endure no more divine retribution in this lifetime surged through the mind. Good riddance to Duphalac, Lasix, Flavedon, Nitrocontine, Vitcofol, Pantodac, Augmentin, Aldactone and the ubiquitous IV fluids and Dopamine, Oflin, Acyclovir, Crocin..and a plethora of other pharma stuff.. and enough of me playing the quack, deciding on the amount of Lasix to give based on the water logging, the amount of duphalac based on his bowel movements, the discerning of his condition that I got accustomed to, the cleansing of the pungent bile..Yes, Appa lived life a moribund way towards the end, lived many days like he was dying, walked a fine line, yet sprang back many a time, flattered to deceive.. as he himself used to tell the doctors wearily ... " What doctor, its become an Aaya Ram, Gayya Ram" scenario.. And Dr Bhat would quip back " Atleast you are coming back to us, the Gayya Ram often makes himself scarce after a couple of visits " !!
No sooner would he get home, he would hit the account books, make the few calls and, dear me,when mom fell a bit sick a while back, even cooked for us and how ! It gave him immense satisfaction to be among the chores again, be it watering the plants, starting the washing machine or hanging out the clothes to dry..but most of all to see me off to work in the morning, packing my lunch box, dusting my helmet, hand me all my stuff and then upon return, greet me with the famous " Hello Mukundu Mari..." and opening out to the bear hug, which he lately started shunning from me.. Sakkamma, Nan Kyli Aagala Inna, please... and call out to Amma thus .. Vasantha, please free me from this Kalla Kulla ;) And the lines which will be etched in my memory forever.. "Hogole, I did'nt fear my Boss, didn't fear my mom, my wife or anyone.. but you..you scare me sometimes.. Please Come, let's go to Vidyarthi Bhavan.. :)
So many minutiae come to mind, it would be impossible to put them all down here.. like Tom Hanks says in Sleepless in Seattle ..Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together....
And whenever I snuggled up to him at night (which was daily) and said "Appa I love you, he would quickly repartee.. " But, I don't.. I love only Mukhyapraana ( Lord Anjaneya) and I want to leave this bloody world .. God please take me away"and then sensing that I would be bemused, quickly pull me close and plant the priceless 3 kisses, one on each cheek and the third on the forehead and quip "Me Too .."!! Dad lacked none in wits and was as pragmatic as they come.. Guilt plagued him for all the trouble he felt he was subjecting us to, though we never felt the burden.. And he was evolved far ahead of the times he was born in and lived through, though he still wondered at technology and the stump vision camera of Channel 9 :)
Pulled out of a 7th grade exam, when he was just 13,(in1946) due to his father's sudden demise, life must have been tough for a large family suddenly thrust in the throes of penury and not knowing where there next meal would come from. Dad recounted that many a day they would go with rice ganji and milk and worry about the next day.. and learning to share, sacrifice and live became ingrained in him, a thing which he stuck by till the very end.. Living selflessly became his cornerstone and parsimony was not a word to be found in his dictionary.
Many were the friends and relatives who were helped out when in need and made to see better days. The magnanimity was not lost out on the animal kingdom as well and cows, dogs and the odd cat were avaracious recipients of many a meal. Before falling seriously ill, he would be up at 5 am, jump rope, warm up, swim from 6 am to 7 am, come rain, cold or sunshine, go to the market and buy stuff and be home even before I would be up.. His zeal for life never failed to amaze people and the indefatigable attitude towards many a seemingly unsurmountable task was something he became well known and appreciated for.. And so, he would stand in serpentine queues amidst cricket crazy fans at KSCA and get lathi charged, find mention in the Deccan Herald the next day that a heart patient was beaten up and walk away with a couple of priceless tickets..:) .. Cricket crazy was Dad and rubbed it off on me.. and regaled us with many tales and the great matches he had witnessed at Chepauk, listened to on the radio and elsewhere..
There was more to Appa than that met the eye and yet he preferred being inconspicuous, and shy away from all the spotlight. Simplicity and humility made sense to him and it didn't augur well with him to pry , he eschewed being nosey and took pride in being a natty dresser. Kids were all time favourites and my cousins Rajini and Murali would vouch for it, as well as the numerous other cousins who liked the gregarious Madhi Mama for a whole lot of reasons, many of which find mention in an earlier blog I had penned about appa. Married at the age of 41, I must have been everything to him and mom and the pampering that dad showered on me is no secret among frnds and relatives..! Mukundu Mari meant the world.. and it didn't help that I was a Problem Child.
The universal rule is all good things must come to an end.. and surely there's no exception to it. And so subtle can the difference be..From pouring water, syrup and milk down his throat and bathing and dressing him up when he was still alive, to pouring hot ghee, milk and curds over many parts of a limpid 'body' the very next day and set it alight, the dichotomy can be enervating and leave one completely befuddled with this unfinished jigsaw puzzle called life.
And when it was time to sift through the smoldering pile and gather the bones, I wished I could catch a glimpse of whatever was left of the cirrhotic liver, the CBD stent in situ, the stent in the UT, the malfunctional right ventricle and literally make no 'bones' about it.. Dad had become a 'stent man' as Dr Lorance joked once..and though the humour was lost out on appa, as his hearing had waned and his eyesight was none too good, he liked Dr Lorance the best for he always said he'll send him home soon and spoke kannada a bit funnily ;) Apologies Dr Bhat, but he kinda held you at an exalted level and thought it was better to ask Dr Anupama or Dr Lorance, lest he invited your ire !
Hepatic Encephalopathy can be a real gut wrencher to see, the faculties would have gone haywire, the right hand wouldnt know what the left is doing and the demented rage can mainfest itself into something surprisingly quite strong and you can often be the recipient of a few sound slaps ! Fettered to the bed, dad would shout out for release, berate the ward boys and the sisters, swear that I was responsible for all this and moan and groan the night away. If only one could buy a liver, bile duct and gall bladder in the market and ease it in as they do with parts for motor vehicles, life would have been so much easier !!
Yet, in a fuzzy cerebral state, dad had the wherewithal to sing and speak some amazing stuff.. A day earlier, he had sung beautifully, and loudly, ( leaving the sisters on the shift bewildered) from 3 AM for a couple of hours and I was stirred out of deep slumber as he continously clapped and chanted Hanuma, Bhima, Madhwa for a good 2 hours..!! He followed it up the next afternoon, for 3 hours straight about Purandara Dasa, Madhwa Philosophy and waxed eloquent about all the doctors for everything they did in fluent english and kannada... only mom got to listen to it though, and as luck would have it, she had no voice recorder to tape it.. "There was a saint...." he began and amma listened spell bound as he reeled off some heady stuff..Was he partaking in a seance in a different strata, the minutes of which he managed to leak out ? Maybe the departing get a premonition before they answer the last and final boarding call..and then after the storm bloweth over, the lull sets in, as opposed to the usual lull before the storm! But we'll continue to be selfish and fight till the very end, at times unmindful of the travails they are going through, yet the vision clouded by ifs and buts, we are prepared to run it up the flagpole and finally, almost as an afterthought, leave the rest to the almighty ! As dad would ironically joke many a time at home " Operation successful, but the patient died"..! Brevity is the soul of wit and it seemed to bounce of him many a time. When I asked him to read the blog I had written about him sometime back, he said " Nah, thats to be done/written after I'm gone "!!
And as difficult as it might seem, we have to learn to leave and let go.. and listening to the religious discourse called Garuda Purana at home, I feel it probably behooves us to accept, at times, rather reluctantly and ridiculously, that there is justice in death (?).. in whatever crude and unsightly manner it comes calling, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake, truculent tsunamis, howling hurricanes, quakes, fires or bullets from lunatic missionaries ...all unmindful of the type of victims that are to fall prey to these vagaries of nature.. and the shock factor can be such that many are scarred for life.. Quagmires to be quelled, shards that no super glue can join..
And whenever I snuggled up to him at night (which was daily) and said "Appa I love you, he would quickly repartee.. " But, I don't.. I love only Mukhyapraana ( Lord Anjaneya) and I want to leave this bloody world .. God please take me away"and then sensing that I would be bemused, quickly pull me close and plant the priceless 3 kisses, one on each cheek and the third on the forehead and quip "Me Too .."!! Dad lacked none in wits and was as pragmatic as they come.. Guilt plagued him for all the trouble he felt he was subjecting us to, though we never felt the burden.. And he was evolved far ahead of the times he was born in and lived through, though he still wondered at technology and the stump vision camera of Channel 9 :)
Pulled out of a 7th grade exam, when he was just 13,(in1946) due to his father's sudden demise, life must have been tough for a large family suddenly thrust in the throes of penury and not knowing where there next meal would come from. Dad recounted that many a day they would go with rice ganji and milk and worry about the next day.. and learning to share, sacrifice and live became ingrained in him, a thing which he stuck by till the very end.. Living selflessly became his cornerstone and parsimony was not a word to be found in his dictionary.
Many were the friends and relatives who were helped out when in need and made to see better days. The magnanimity was not lost out on the animal kingdom as well and cows, dogs and the odd cat were avaracious recipients of many a meal. Before falling seriously ill, he would be up at 5 am, jump rope, warm up, swim from 6 am to 7 am, come rain, cold or sunshine, go to the market and buy stuff and be home even before I would be up.. His zeal for life never failed to amaze people and the indefatigable attitude towards many a seemingly unsurmountable task was something he became well known and appreciated for.. And so, he would stand in serpentine queues amidst cricket crazy fans at KSCA and get lathi charged, find mention in the Deccan Herald the next day that a heart patient was beaten up and walk away with a couple of priceless tickets..:) .. Cricket crazy was Dad and rubbed it off on me.. and regaled us with many tales and the great matches he had witnessed at Chepauk, listened to on the radio and elsewhere..
There was more to Appa than that met the eye and yet he preferred being inconspicuous, and shy away from all the spotlight. Simplicity and humility made sense to him and it didn't augur well with him to pry , he eschewed being nosey and took pride in being a natty dresser. Kids were all time favourites and my cousins Rajini and Murali would vouch for it, as well as the numerous other cousins who liked the gregarious Madhi Mama for a whole lot of reasons, many of which find mention in an earlier blog I had penned about appa. Married at the age of 41, I must have been everything to him and mom and the pampering that dad showered on me is no secret among frnds and relatives..! Mukundu Mari meant the world.. and it didn't help that I was a Problem Child.
The universal rule is all good things must come to an end.. and surely there's no exception to it. And so subtle can the difference be..From pouring water, syrup and milk down his throat and bathing and dressing him up when he was still alive, to pouring hot ghee, milk and curds over many parts of a limpid 'body' the very next day and set it alight, the dichotomy can be enervating and leave one completely befuddled with this unfinished jigsaw puzzle called life.
And when it was time to sift through the smoldering pile and gather the bones, I wished I could catch a glimpse of whatever was left of the cirrhotic liver, the CBD stent in situ, the stent in the UT, the malfunctional right ventricle and literally make no 'bones' about it.. Dad had become a 'stent man' as Dr Lorance joked once..and though the humour was lost out on appa, as his hearing had waned and his eyesight was none too good, he liked Dr Lorance the best for he always said he'll send him home soon and spoke kannada a bit funnily ;) Apologies Dr Bhat, but he kinda held you at an exalted level and thought it was better to ask Dr Anupama or Dr Lorance, lest he invited your ire !
Hepatic Encephalopathy can be a real gut wrencher to see, the faculties would have gone haywire, the right hand wouldnt know what the left is doing and the demented rage can mainfest itself into something surprisingly quite strong and you can often be the recipient of a few sound slaps ! Fettered to the bed, dad would shout out for release, berate the ward boys and the sisters, swear that I was responsible for all this and moan and groan the night away. If only one could buy a liver, bile duct and gall bladder in the market and ease it in as they do with parts for motor vehicles, life would have been so much easier !!
Yet, in a fuzzy cerebral state, dad had the wherewithal to sing and speak some amazing stuff.. A day earlier, he had sung beautifully, and loudly, ( leaving the sisters on the shift bewildered) from 3 AM for a couple of hours and I was stirred out of deep slumber as he continously clapped and chanted Hanuma, Bhima, Madhwa for a good 2 hours..!! He followed it up the next afternoon, for 3 hours straight about Purandara Dasa, Madhwa Philosophy and waxed eloquent about all the doctors for everything they did in fluent english and kannada... only mom got to listen to it though, and as luck would have it, she had no voice recorder to tape it.. "There was a saint...." he began and amma listened spell bound as he reeled off some heady stuff..Was he partaking in a seance in a different strata, the minutes of which he managed to leak out ? Maybe the departing get a premonition before they answer the last and final boarding call..and then after the storm bloweth over, the lull sets in, as opposed to the usual lull before the storm! But we'll continue to be selfish and fight till the very end, at times unmindful of the travails they are going through, yet the vision clouded by ifs and buts, we are prepared to run it up the flagpole and finally, almost as an afterthought, leave the rest to the almighty ! As dad would ironically joke many a time at home " Operation successful, but the patient died"..! Brevity is the soul of wit and it seemed to bounce of him many a time. When I asked him to read the blog I had written about him sometime back, he said " Nah, thats to be done/written after I'm gone "!!
And as difficult as it might seem, we have to learn to leave and let go.. and listening to the religious discourse called Garuda Purana at home, I feel it probably behooves us to accept, at times, rather reluctantly and ridiculously, that there is justice in death (?).. in whatever crude and unsightly manner it comes calling, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake, truculent tsunamis, howling hurricanes, quakes, fires or bullets from lunatic missionaries ...all unmindful of the type of victims that are to fall prey to these vagaries of nature.. and the shock factor can be such that many are scarred for life.. Quagmires to be quelled, shards that no super glue can join..
The Truth shall set you free ? Death, a great leveller indeed, and to every seminal or germinal event a terminal call.
I think we should count ourselves real fortunate then, that Appa wasn't a victim of any of the above, rather 'nature' took its course, and that truce was called in a manner that made sense..
And the river ride on the theppa or the coricle at Tirumkundlur ( T Narsipura) to the intangible spot where the confluence of the Cauvery, Kapila and Spatika Sarovara occurs, had a concomitant in a balmy breeze, that served to dispell the cataclysm that I was confronted with. Appa, the water wasn't too cold, only knee deep and lucid..and I did what was asked of me... and we later fed the monkeys there too, as you so often did at H.A.L.!
I think we should count ourselves real fortunate then, that Appa wasn't a victim of any of the above, rather 'nature' took its course, and that truce was called in a manner that made sense..
And the river ride on the theppa or the coricle at Tirumkundlur ( T Narsipura) to the intangible spot where the confluence of the Cauvery, Kapila and Spatika Sarovara occurs, had a concomitant in a balmy breeze, that served to dispell the cataclysm that I was confronted with. Appa, the water wasn't too cold, only knee deep and lucid..and I did what was asked of me... and we later fed the monkeys there too, as you so often did at H.A.L.!
Appa - my philosopher, mentor, friend and El Capitano, thanks for nurturing me through all the 30 years, taking care of my schooling, college, dishing out pocket money, instilling core values, buying rasgollas and misty dahi at K C Das, making Xmas caps for school, making all the lovely banana and mango milk shakes for us boys, bearing painfully through my US sojourn, receiving me at the airport, no matter what hour or what condition you were in, and a zillion other things for which there's no payback... I tried my best, did what I thought was good for you, and even got to take you places in my new car... Marriages and other functions would have left you wistful perhaps, but I just couldn't pull that one thing off.. I'm so sorry, but I thought I was onto something and you would have liked the best for me.. and you have handed over the keys to a world that hitherto was all new to me, and I don't like booking LPG cylinders and going to the post office every month or standing in Q's at banks!! I wouldnt even want to go into your shortcomings, though you could go a bit slack on being recalcitrant :)
Yet, as I walked away after thanking the doctors at the hospital, I halt at the steps and realize that there were still questions that I didn't ask them (as usual) and half turn to do so.. would the efficacy of the stent in the bile duct been much more had we got it done much earlier, maybe 2 years ago ? Was removing the Double J stent a mistake that led to the sepsis ? Why did water inundate his lungs ? why did his K+ drop, what happened in the end ?... and then realizing that its an exercise in futility, I make haste for the exit and there's no looking back.. thnks to all the folks who served him, for without you all, I wouldn't have had the means to deal with so many things.. Thnks Nagendra Mama and co, Madhu Mama and Co, my cuzin Paapani and everyone else.. You all have been terrific and i'm indebted forever to you people now... and have no idea how I can payback !!
It will continue to be my folly then, or a fallacy, to harbour a thought that we had a relationship like no other father-son ever, that my loss was like none other and the nuance not easy to comprehend by anyone else.. and this myopism on my part will hold sway for some time, for better or worse.. and the placebo that is Father Time will have to work its charm all over again and purge me and amma of this ponderousness thats beset us. Its (time) got something to do about being an universal healer!
In many ways then , dad was similar to my ajji (his mother-in-law) about whom my uncle had written this eulogy. And if we can try and emulate even a wee bit of what these 2 great souls have done.. sigh.. It seems like a pipe dream surely, but then if we were to atleast try and aim for the stars, maybe we can get a wee bit close, what ?
In many ways then , dad was similar to my ajji (his mother-in-law) about whom my uncle had written this eulogy. And if we can try and emulate even a wee bit of what these 2 great souls have done.. sigh.. It seems like a pipe dream surely, but then if we were to atleast try and aim for the stars, maybe we can get a wee bit close, what ?
And while I am at it, maybe Appa would come out in the wide open space once on a starry night and talk some sense into me.. just like in Lion King, when Simba gets a sermon from his dad out of the night sky.. an Aakash Vani with a familiar countenance..Aah, the visions I conjure up, the toon freak that I am :)
Amma, who's held fort superbly all the 5 years, asks of me quirkily " You love/loved him more than me right ? " !!! C'mon mom, I can do without this and I am not answering any trick questions. Let's heal ourselves first and you better have 3 kisses and hugs lined up every day henceforth !! Que Sera Sera..
Salutations then to a great soul, who'll remain in our hearts forever and will be venerated by one and all. May his tribe increase.
In closing, here's an email I'm producing verbatim which he wrote to me for my birthday while I was in the US during May 2001, while being sick and spent hours at the keyboard in the process !!
--------------------------------
dear Mukund, trust this finds u in good spirits. keepcheerful come what may. u have the god`s blessing. tomorrow is yr BIRTH DAY. your coming into being with eyeswide open & with tiny fingers in the rosy mouth is green in my memory & it shall remain so for ever. godbless u for aother HUNDRED fruitful MAY soconds.tomorrow we have given for PANCHAMRITHA abiseka at our pranadevaragudi near minto. so we will not be available between8 amto 11 AM& in cace if we are not available even after11 AM u may try ch pet if necessary.. yr ever loving ammm/appa
dear Mukund, trust this finds u in good spirits. keepcheerful come what may. u have the god`s blessing. tomorrow is yr BIRTH DAY. your coming into being with eyeswide open & with tiny fingers in the rosy mouth is green in my memory & it shall remain so for ever. godbless u for aother HUNDRED fruitful MAY soconds.tomorrow we have given for PANCHAMRITHA abiseka at our pranadevaragudi near minto. so we will not be available between8 amto 11 AM& in cace if we are not available even after11 AM u may try ch pet if necessary.. yr ever loving ammm/appa
------------------------------------
IMHO and my six pence, if anyone is presented with an opportunity to take care of parents when in need or otherwise, don't shirk... don't think twice..,Illness, loneliness and the disillusioned mindset at that time is an anathema that they needn't court, shouldn't serve as a harbinger of an insipid dusk and needn't be an ivy they would cling on to in hope of a better tommorrow.. I faltered a bit, but made some ground towards the end...
For all those who have had the pleasure to interact with my dad in whatever capacity, please leave your comments in this blog itself, anything interesting, anything nice you can remember him by.. I have added a few messages I got by email... thnks once again for all your support and best wishes..
posted by MomentsOfTruth @ 3:36 AM
16 comments
16 Comments:
Dear Mukunda
I heard the tragic news about your father. My condolences to you and your mother. May god give you the strength to bear this loss. I have pleasant memories of your dad having met him several times when we were in Home School and Vijaya High School. He always treated us girls very indulgently and cracked a lot of jokes. He has even dropped us several times at the Ganesh Bhavan bus stop :). So that we could catch our famous 3B bus back home.
The most striking quality was that of a simple and gentle human being. May his soul rest in peace.
I am so glad that you made the decision to return to India and spend quality time with him. It must be the best decision that you have ever taken and will always remain so for your entire life.
With lots of prayers
Yours truly,
Vidya
Dear Mukunda,
It is with deep emotions I express my condolence to your mother and you at the passing away of your
father. I pray God to provide emotional strength to your family in this time of grief. This November, during my visit to Bangalore, I sensed that our dear
parents experience a second childhood. At that age they look beyond the mundane life and simply wish for the cheerful presence and the emotional support of their children. I am sure your father would have felt great warmth in your presence and unbounded happiness watching you take up the family responsibility for the
past few years.
With cherished memory from yester years, during my frequent visits to your house, I have watched him
celebrate the happy moments on May 2nd'96 and the affectionate father with all his hugs and delicate
concern on your bon voyage to Canada. I will always remember him for his simplicity, self discipline,quiet presence and good humor. His enthusiasm to pursue swimming even in the colder days of Banglore winter will always be a motivation for each of us.
As your mother and you experience this incomprehensible loss, tender moments from the cherished past will touch your heart. These delicate and personal feelings are sacred and the very essence
of your affection for your appa and your mother's love for her husband.
- Karthik
Mukund,
Please accept my sincere condolences. I was deeply
moved by your blog! You write with such feeling. I vividly remember your Dad coming to the rescue back
when my Ajji passed away 16 years ago. We were like fish out of water..completely clueless and scared. Your Dad took charge and helped my Tata and the rest
of us through the last rites. I will never forget his selflessness and willingness to help!
With love and sympathy,
Sincerely,
Manu
Dear Muk,
Your writing is so moving. I could picture the whole thing. I miss Bava a lot. His caring words always ready to help. One thing ringing in my thoughts of his words "nimge yest dudu beku hele kodthene" yochne mad bede. what a magnaimous person. Always treated with respect never put me down. I have a great love and regard for him. He was a father figure for me always. Both brother being far off and losing anna at the age of 19 vasa always protected me and guided me. So many memories of time spent with dear Bava. our trips to Madras for US visa. How much interest he took in getting me Visa. Our trip to Mysore that is before you were born. Going to movies in Majastic in the middle of the movie he would ask vasa "Hoganva Vasanthu" antha and amma would say eree mgudbedli. Then off to some hotels. Best part was the visits to ch.pet house with you. It was a great relief for me to have Vasa and Bava there with us. I still remember those days when you were so small(Few months) appa taking you on his lap giving you milk bottle and telling you the stories of cricket or his earlier days as though you understand the whole thing(:-) . Then making you learn cricket in front of the house. The time he used to spend in taking care of your uniforms and dressing you up to go to home school. We all have to stand out near the gate to give you send off. He really really took care of you in every sense. What a great father. Muku we really really love him and miss him. God gave us an oppurtunity to spend few days with him at your place even though he was sick. Dear Vasa forgive me I am not there with you and Muk in this time of need . What a useless sister I am to you. Please forgive me. You have done so mcuh for me and taken such good care of me I can never repay you. You are a great sister and I love a lot. This last unfortunate episode of mine has put a big break on my activities. My mind and heart is compleatly with you and Mukundu. We have special bonding. I am always thankful to God that we have such wonderful loving family to support and God's grace to guide us. We are extreamly fortunate to have son like Mukndu who showed so much love and took such good care of Bava. We r blessed vasa, He is like you serving everybdy in time of need. We pray God to give him the strength to bear the pain of Bava's passing away. How I wish I had been with you and Vasa at these last moments of Bava. Well God has a different plan I think It was not meant to happen. Not being able to part take in the great journey of dear Bava is hurting but our prayers r always there for Bava's soul peaceful journey He is a great devote of Sri.Hanuman I am sure he is well taken care off in his sojourn. I wrote a long letter to Vasa but everything got erased. May be it was not meant to be. Well that is it for now.
Bava I love you and always have a great regardfor you. Please bless me whereever you are.
Take care Mari I love a lot.,,
It is not easy to part ones we love and ones who loved us. But part we have to, since each one has one's own grand journey of life. Destiny brings us together and destiny sets us apart. Birth brings laughter and death leaves behind tears of pain. In between,life is like tossing & turning on a sleepless night. But it is all well in the grand scheme of things.
It is well over 16 years that Madhusudhan stepped into my life as a friend, with a reaching out hand and a genuine smile. Since then I have found him to be simply sincere. His gentle mannerisms and shyly smile belied the depth of his personality. He was kind and quietly helped many. His sense of humor was abounding. It was hard to see him suffer. It was even harder to see a man of great dignity feel helpless in the grips sickness. In his helplessness he found wisdom-wisdom to pray and take refuge in “namas-marana”. In many ways he has set standards for us to emulate. We miss him dearly. He has left behind many fond memories.
Memories are all that we have. Let us pray that those memories invigorate the life in us for the purpose we are here for and let them not incapacitate us from thinking and acting properly. Let our sadness of loosing him be tided over by the gratitude that he chose to be with us. Let his soul make the sojourn to its abode of peace in peace.
- Radhakrishna
Mukund
I felt really bad, after hearing this tragic news, I pray to god to give Strength to you and your Mother.
I still remeber your father simplicity, when we visited your house. He served us the food, I am really moved by it.
You have put up a really good blog on your dad. Keep going mukund, as that is what life is... and that is well demonstrated by your Appa.
Mukundu - My thoughts & prayers are with you & Aunty.. have been for a very long time, more so since the time Uncle took a turn for the worse. Somehow hard to believe that this time he succumbed to it... to put an end to the innumerable hospital visits, the suffering & anguish to you all. I miss him, the very thought that hes no longer amidst us feels strange & very sad. The way he used to smile & talk to us lovingly, enquire how we are doing & have something light or humorous to say... many nice memories are etched to stay forever. Remember the Salem trip, when the bed broke , Uncle was on it with 'majjige' in his hand as he went down with the bed & the majjige spilling out & all over, & Uncle having his tongue out to catch any majjige dripping down from his hair :) I remember he insisted & took me shopping during my first visit to India from here, I still have those shoes. Ever curious & in awe was he about "America"... The "Micheal Jackson MAD" cassette cracks me up every time I think about it.
I'll always remember Uncle as a sweet, loving, caring, generous, fun loving , active person, that loved his 'Mukundu mari' immensely & dressed him up so neatly for school!
I'm happy you treasure your time with him so dearly & took such good care of him these last few years. He'll always watch over you & be with you. So go on with your life, be happy like he would want you to be, & spend wonderful times with Aunty .. but most of all, please find that blessed "Chikka Hendathi" , coz I bet Uncle is still waiting for that unfinished business of yours :) Good Luck, my love, thoughts, strength & prayers are with u always
we'll see you soon- Mammu
dear mukund,
this link was sent to me by my husband today. you're colleagues at work and he sits next to you. i read it with an increasing sense of loss. your father sounds simply great. he'd have been proud to read this post. i lost my dad some fouteen years ago. i did just the one post for him http://shaluvk.livejournal.com/6438.html
may you find the fortitude to bear with this loss...
best regards,
shalu
MomentsofTruth,
I am very sorry for your loss.It takes a lot for a father to inspire his son this extent. I am touched by your admiration and respect for him. A son always knows his father best and the fact that your father has reached himalayan heights is perhaps the best proof of what a fine human being he was.
Very touching...
I now live pretty far away from my parents. And the yearning to be with them is a constant. They are not very old now. But one of my prayers to god always is that in 2-3 years, I should be able to spend much more time with them than I am doing now.
Hi,
My name is Flavia, I read about your father and I am very sorry, I hope you'll get better with help of time.
I found your blog by searching "same interests" in movies...
I was born in Bangalore on 1985 and I read you are there... well, now I live in Switzerland and I would like to know if you may tell me something about that place... I don't have any memories about it because I was very very young when I came to Switzerland. If you agree to tell me something about Bangalore, then write me on my blog and you'll find my e-mail address on my profile.
Thank you very much.
peace,
nirvy
Hi Mukund,
I am touched to know that you remember me.I wrote a very brief previous mail coz i was not sure
whether u remember me or not and i was at loss for words.
Again, I am really sorry to know about the passing away of Appa- I know that you loved your Appa so
much and did all you could for him.Mamta has told me a lot about you and Uncle.
I lost my father-in-law in July and tho i have been in Guru's family for only about three years, I have come to love them as my own parents and family-and the passing away of Guru's father was a big blow to us --it has left a huge void in our hearts which can never be filled.I know that the memories will never go away, but hope and pray that the pain diminishes with time.
I have read the beautiful eulogy that you have written and at times, it brought tears to my
eyes-its really beautiful-I want to read it again and i will surely write to you.
How is Vasantha aunty doing? I know that our parents and elders have a great inner strength.Please tell Aunty that I am thinking about
her and that she is in our prayers.
Mukund, at this time, i am reminded of something i had read-
" In times of great grief, when we have lost the one we loved the most-and then think why did we have to love so much, if the loss is meant to bring so much grief?
The answer is unless we have loved the one the way we did and do still now, we have not lived at
all.-Love is life."
I know that Time is the Best healer, but i also know that there is always that inner strength and
faith which will help thru this difficult time.
I know that our loved ones are safe and at peace in Heaven and are forever watching over us.The
thought brings great solace.
I Pray for the health, Peace and happiness of all our near and dear ones.
Please take care.
Regards,
Shilpa.
Hi Mukund,
I read what you have mused about your father...I can only say, that from the moment we met you all,
we too have learnt so much from u, how to face tough times with so much grace and patience...It takes a lot, believe me, to just accept and go on..Your faith in all of us only humbles us more...
Thank you very much for those kind words.I have only one thing to say, i wish i had met your father when he was well. Illness apart, your family has always had a special place in my heart. I only wait now for the happier times in your life,and hope to be still your
friend ( rather than a doctor!)
Hang on there, your father will always be there with you all.......with his charming smile ..I wish you all the best in life
Dr Anupama
-----------------------------------
Hi Mukund
firstly thanks for all the nice words for us;you sure express yourself very well in lovely english !!
honestly your dad is special for us too and it has been a pleasure being involved with a family who trusts us so completely.
The bit on your dad was superb;i wish i could have written and expressed that to my dad who is now no more .It goes to my desktop for my kids to read.
Thanks - you have made the struggle all worthwhile
naresh
Dr naresh bhat
This bit about your father has moved me to tears. Hope his soul rests in peace and I pray to God that he gives you the courage and the strength to face this difficult phase of your life.
Peace
-S
I lost my father last year, reading this message moved me to years.
Who knows where to download XRumer 5.0 Palladium?
Help, please. All recommend this program to effectively advertise on the Internet, this is the best program!
Post a Comment
<< Home