Married to the Mob

**Disclaimer** :
This was originally put up quite sometime back,then stricken off the pages as it was perceived as perhaps disdainful or flippant to a section of the society. It was all but that, and meant as nothing more than a lighter look at quirky things that conspire, to transpire, and leave one bemused.. To folks out there, I hasten to reiterate, this is not to take a dig at anyone, no sexism intended,and not to be misconstrued as even being a lampoon..It is, essentially, just a very lighter view on certain things, nothing more, nothing less..
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Amma :Mukund, take a look at this alliance proposal that has come in..

Hmm, here goes again…What’s new about this one? Have I met my match?Nonchalance reigns as I open up the envelope. A few more of these and I can claim to be a broker and pursue a career of a Wedding Planner.
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Yep, meet me bwn 7-8 pm on Mon-Wed-Fri at Raayar matta, 6 – 7PM on Tue-Thu- Sat at Madhwa Sangha and on Sundays at 12 noon beneath the Big Banyan Tree.Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary, no registration, no fees, no sleaze.I deliver upfront, have no cronies, don’t know what sleight of the hand is, andam vicarious to your conjugal bliss. Here’s a good Samaritan, a Jerry McGuire.Plus I have my own PC (32 inch monitor), Color Printer, Scanner, Modem/DSL/Broadband, CPU, Keyboard, USB, Optical/Wireless Mouse, gizmo photo editing software, digital camera as well as webcam, can shoot in black n white or color, morph like a pro, add in surreal blackgrounds as I have seen in certain pictures . I can even scan negatives and make pictures out of them, there’s a new trick, damn it! I know the purohits and can make the horoscopes match if the dame likes the dude and wants to seal the deal.

I’m the best in the business, QED.
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Back to the matter in hand:
Can’t understand nuts about the horoscope as usual.. Leave it to the wise men. Hmm, there are 2 of them, the horoscopes .. weird...

Next comes the picture… Hey, what is this, there are 2 identical pictures? Agreed that sometimes we get two slightly different pics, but these are so much alike, that if a spot-the -difference contest was to be run on them, I would be all at sea trying to figure out any discrepancies bween the two… Kamaal Hai Yaar..

But wait, there’s more to come… 2 bio-datas as well. This is getting weirder. Scratching my head, I query Amma..“Yenamma Idu, why have they sent 2 copies of everything? Do they own a Xerox shop?

Amma : Take a look closely will you ?Well, I do and I’m still at large and tell her thus.

She retorts “ Thu mundede, saryaagi nodu (dumbo,look carefully). They are Twins. "

Twins !!!!!! Whoa… why now, the sheer absurdity.. I'm completely flummoxed by the preceding events. How incredulous can this get! Sure enough, I look closer and the first names differ by a couple of letters, but that’s about it. Every other genetical trait is a spitting mirror image, both of them have attended the same educational institutions from childhood, done the same programming courses of VB, ASP, JAVA, Oracle etc, pursued the same extra-curricular activities et al.

Almost immediately, as if on cue, the devil in my mind comes into play. Visions of the Phook Yu and the Phook Mi Japanese twins from Austin Powers Part 3 (Goldmember),the Isabella Sisters from the pondy magazines we used to stack up in Miami, Seetha Aur Geetha, Ibbaru Hendira Muddina Police, Gharwaali Baharwaali, Aasege Obba Meese ge Obba… Groovy Baby…! My grandfather married twice, Saddam Hussein had his own harem….Would I be a Terminal Emulator…what a pj. Come to think of it, even George Castanza in Seinfield gets an invite for a monajatwa.

Amma, isn’t bigamy outlawed yet?
Amma : Ayyo, Pedd Mundede (idiot). You are supposed to choose 1 of them.

Oh. Huh? One of them.. But, with all due respect, why present both the profiles. And there’s so little to choose from, save for the names. Perhaps this is what they mean (or don’t) when they say “What’s in a Name”.In the background, Dad enjoys my misery and chuckles with mirth. Nice Dad, thanks!

What next I wonder?? Triplets, Quadruplets, the Pentagon, Cheaper by the dozen… Geez, disaster is in the air, that I know for sure.
EOF
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It's a well known fact that women are or can be a fickle lot. They can indulge you in a lot of nice things, ask ponderous questions, call you sweet nothings, lose so badly at chess that you are embarassed and almost apologetic at having won, (ok, it wasn't GM Koneru Humpy), tell rules of Tennis that are so absurd it leaves you laughing,and then without any premonition, pen their own version of How to Lose a Guy in 10 minutes (let alone 10 Days), leaving one with a "I'm A Doofus" Calvin like expression writ large on the face. Vayoooow !

As a member of their clan itself humourously put it, many a time, they themselves don't know What Women Want, so we shouldn't be wasting our time shooting in the dark :) Point taken, Only Fools Rush In. Singing Kabootar Ja Ja and then shooting the messenger dove is acceptable :)

Simply put, It can be All About a Boy and a Girl..and Bollywood continues to capture it quintessentially from years now, the initial gaiety, the prancing round the trees, then the tear jerking moments, the seemingly irreconcilable differences, the absoloute NO-GO's and the No CAN DO's and then, hey presto, they hold hands and walk off into the sunset, forever and forever and forever after :)What's your muse Bollywood ? Love's Labour Lost, no, ? Go Figure huh!

Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein is playing on TV.. Maddy'Mahadevan'Sastry, has fallen for Diya Mirza..and she for him as it appears..Ha, but wait, along comes Saif, the US guy, an old time rival of Maddy on the streets of Mumbai..Things happen and the gal is caught in a vortex.. Just when it appears Maddy's made his case, Saif hands him his invite of his wedding with Diya, a staunch rebuttal to all of Maddy's claims.. Maddy's shattered, confronts Diya, shouts at her, berates her for falling for the Green card and the US$ (strings attached), and then goes and get drunk on the streets and waltzes to Sach Keh Raha Hai Deewana, closely on the heels of the lovely Zara Zara ;) Cool Only !

Sobering up, he decides to seek a change of fortune in Los Angeles (why ? ), bids adieu to a Dad, whom he has said earlier means everything to him and won't desert him for anything, and a gathering of to-die-for-dosts.. and ya, the hopeless romantics at the theatre are miffed, some on the verge of tears.. but elsewhere, the gal can't handle it as well, Saif sizes up the situation, and presents her to Maddy just as is he about to embark on the plane.. the Last and Final Boarding Call for Maddy is never answered to, and Saif.. well, he walks off into a world that's at large again for him, but a role which he carries off well, inspite of having to play second fiddle in this chick flick.. and Bollywood scores its point again... There is, and, can be Love with no Strings Attached.. You just need to open out to things :)) I'll say 50-50.. instances of without strings attached abide in large numbers, a sparkling white, poignant, unfettered...and on a parallel runs the strings attached course, no less white too maybe!.. who's to say what's wrong, whats's right, it ain't worth it. Each to his own, horses for the courses if need be..

Two nice stories I got to read..
http://in.rediff.com/getahead/2005/oct/07wed.htm
http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2005/sep/02love.htm

And I'm privy to the FAQs or MAQs .. "Got Married Yet ? What's happening, making any progress ?? Did you try the net,chatting up with someone, you never know " ?? etc etc.

" I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away....
And they were singing, Bye-bye, miss american pie."


I haven't zenned it yet and am saving the last dance for Bin Tere Sanam. And even Pappu Pass Hogayya, with Distinction, no less..Not that I was in the running anytime I guess !
Yen Samachara, Yella Nan Grachara :)

And oh, heard the Joke that's doing the rounds ??

Why are Women like Hurricane Katrina and Rita ?
- Because they moan and scream when they come, and take the house and car when they go :))

Who's selling Insurance for such ? Gimme a Holler..