Writer's Block

That’s it… I figured it all out. I have had an attack of Writer’s Block. Gawk!!And I’m so scared, geez ! Blogging is fun, I miss it. How lame, huh.. ! It always gave me a channel to spool out some trash, exchange views with fellow bloggers, blog hop like crazy, chat up with the like minded, laugh etc.. Sigh, all for a price.. It’s been a bit tough these days, what with dad being sick and other activities that you are nonchalant to, taking up time etc etc.. But I admit, when I get down to write something, I’m like duh.. Like Saurav Ganguly at the batting crease, like Supandi at the market, like Smoke on the Water, like a shell shocked moose caught in the headlights bang in the middle of a busy expressway, like Zaphod Beeblerox in the Improbability Drive :)

That’s right,Zaphod, from the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy is to die for.. And as you read through it voraciously, you can be forgiven if you forget what commonsense is, laugh along at the utter absurdity, the zany, the wacko, the wry wit !!.. Great way to unwind at the end of the day, surely..

So I’m reading these days and I still blog hop to the same old sites that are saved in the browser, and an occasional new one, sheer laziness preventing me from venturing into newer ones and I could care a rat’s ass now,(even though they rule our world, Earth, which is nothing but an organic matrix, part of a 7 million year old experiment being run by 2 mice in outer space, to unravel the question, yes the question, to an answer which is 42!!.. And to think mice or their ilk are viewed as ‘lab rats’ by us. Makes sense? *** Get your copy of the Hitchhikers Guide, else if.. ) ..

And I notice they all more or less adhere to the pattern that identifies or distinguishes their blog from the others. But that’s where I stop, I no longer try to unravel or muse on their take. This must be Write –Read Block, need to get a techie support guy in Kormangala on the phone at 230 AM to unlock it. And I googled to read about Writer’s Block and went a step further and copied a humorous look at it below, at least that way, I am on the Write Line again !

Writer's Block: Myths and Facts By Steve Yudewitz

Anyone who has been around writers for any length of time has heard someone complain about Writer's Block. This article will explore the myths and facts that surround the disease that affects millions of writers. Much to my chagrin, it seemingly impacts every writer except for the guy who wrote that horrible book on leadership development that my boss asked me to read.The following are some frequently asked questions about Writer's Block and responses based on research and experience:

What is Writer's Block?
Writer's block, known by the name Muse Apnea in medical circles, is the term for a temporary condition that prevents writers from putting pen to paper and put sentences together.

Is there a cure?
Unfortunately, No.

Sheesh! Couldn't you sugar coat it or something? Surely, there must be a cure!
On the advice of colleague on low carb diets, I have decided it is not prudent to sugar coat anything. It will only cause your body to stop burning fat. I reiterate; no cure exists for Writer's Block.

Bummer! Is all hope gone?
Absolutely not! Most hope is gone. Just kidding. Actually, the way Writer's block affects you depends entirely on the way you (as a writer) come to terms with an obstacle that is a normal part of the creative process. If you accept the stoppage as fait accompli, you are doomed. If you have the mentality of an adventurer warrior, you will fight your way through the obstacle, all the way embracing the hardship and heartbreak of Muse Apnea as part of the magnificent journey that is the creative process.

I've heard that Writer's block doesn't exist. Who's right? You or a whole mess of best selling authors such as Robert Parker?
Me, of course. Actually, Whether Muse Apnea exists is either a question of semantics or theology. What many authors mean when they deny the self-evident existence of Writer's Block is that they simply refuse to let anything interfere with their ability to create. They do not believe Writer's Block exists; therefore, it cannot destroy the creative process. That said, my neighbor Bob may not believe that a nine-foot alligator patrols the canal across the street, but he will end up with teeth marks in his leg if he wades through the water at snack time.

I've heard that Writer's block is nothing but an excuse for laziness and procrastination. What's your take?
When a famous author at a writer's conference said that "the Block" is bogus, I became so agitated that I vowed that I would send him an angry letter, but at the time, I just didn't feel like it. That was a couple of months ago. I'm sure I'll get to it later this week.My take on Muse Apnea is that if it exists for you, then it exists, and it must be dealt with.

How do people treat Writer's Block?
Topical creams and antidepressants. Failing that foolish approach, several methods have proven effective. My next article will discuss some of these methods. In the meantime, remember that the creative process is a journey, a quest. Sadly, many will perish along the way. Don't be one of them. Drink plenty of fluids (I recommend water or a decaffeinated tea), remember that creativity ebbs and flows, and know that if you take the time, you will be able to write.

That was overdramatic! What's that all about?
Sometimes going a little over the top will help jump-start the creative process. I went over the top to bring out that point.

Wow, I can't wait for this article to end…
Thanks, you are too kind.

What I meant to say was "Wow, I can't wait for this article to end…so I can do some writing."
Good recovery. If you still need a jump-start for the creative process, I'll provide a writer's prompt.

Gosh thanks! What the heck is that?
Writer's prompts come in many forms. Usually they are a sentence or two describing a scene or a character. Sometimes it is simply a list of words or a single concept. Whatever style or form they are in, you are encouraged to write for 15 minutes or a minimum of 250 words. Generally, you are told not to edit what comes out. The goal is not to produce great literature; rather, it is to get words onto paper.

Here is an example of a writer's prompt:It's Two A.M. and Betty blames Bob for the crisis. Bob thinks Betty is overreacting. Both characters are neurotic Chihuahuas. The prompt provides the characters and the scenario. You, the writer, provide the rest.A short piece based on the Chihuahuas prompt might look like this:

Snap! The sound of the latch breaking echoed through the cold, empty halls of the animal research center. Betty shuddered. She knew that Bob's carelessness would send up an alarm. Again, their escape attempt would be cut short. "Fool!" Betty whispered harshly. "Didn't I tell you not to use the leash to try to unlock the cage? They'll catch us for sure." Bob's beady black eyes cut through Betty. "Will you give it a rest? We're fine. Even if the alarm goes off we have a good two minutes to make it to the outer wall."

Quick and heavy footsteps could be heard in the distance. Human footsteps. "You hear that, Bob?" Betty asked. "That's Zack. You remember what happened last time he caught us.""He's not going to catch us. But if we stay in this part of the hall, I'll catch one horrible cold. Let's move.""Quit barking at me." Betty grunted.

Bob and Betty ran quickly across the frigid tile. They made it past the third kennel and the sleeping night watchman.The footsteps were closer now and Bob's little leg muscles were burning from Zackustion. He wheezed and coughed, wondering whether Zack had put something in his dog food in the morning. He thought the new dog food tasted funny. Was it the beef kibbleser or some sort of experimental medicine in the kibbles?

"What's wrong?" Betty asked. "You're panting.""Did you have the kibbles this morning?""How can you think of food at a time like this?""Answer the question.""No!" Betty screamed."No, you didn't have the kibble or no, you're not going to answer?"Betty shook her head. "No. No. No." She raised her paw and pointed at the man standing between them and the outer wall.

Obviously, the above is not great literature by any stretch of the imagination. Nonetheless, it is a stretch of the imagination. And isn't that the real purpose of the writer's prompt?

I don't want to write about neurotic dogs. Can you give me a different prompt?
Sure. Lazlo and Mary are coworkers approaching deadline on a project. Mary is playing with a knife when Lazlo tells her a secret that angers her. There's your prompt. Go out and write the wrongs!
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*I’m motivated now.. Will certainly pen by EOD... of someday** !