Diamond Gaffes and Car Pick Up Lines.

Guys,

What would you say when a member of the fairer sex says " You are a Diamond".. ?? Thanks, wow, thats sweet.. maybe even wittier... say " Diamonds are Forever, Diamonds are a Woman's Best Friend, or if the situation warrants, maybe something even virile like "Rough diamonds may sometimes be mistaken for worthless pebbles. "

Anything, anything that you could look back upon and swell with pride or have nice memories .

But no, I faltered. And How ..

She : You are a diamond.

Me : " Hehe, Oh No.. I am Thagdu ". Exact words.

She : Whats Tagdu ?

Me : scrap metal is called Thagdu in Kannada..

She : Ok... hmmm..

She : :))

Me : Slaps Forehead, shakes my head and thinks " You'll never get it will ya, dikhead "

And I'm like WTH was I saying.. realization always dawns late !! Dude, What were you even thinking ?? You could have atleast said somethin less inane about carbon atoms bonded together.. but no, ure Tagdu.. .. Faux pas, Faux Pas !!

And I feel like Chandler Bing in Friends when he gets stuck in an ATM Vestibule in NY with a Victoria Secret Supermodel when there's a power blackout.When he gets weak in his knees, his heart skips a beat and he blurts out baloney :)

I quote below

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[ Jill Goodacre is on the cellular phone. ]

Chandler : Oh my God, it's that Victoria's Secret model. Something... something Goodacre.

Jill : Hi Mom, it's Jill.

Chandler : She's right, it's Jill. Jill Goodacre. Oh my God. I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium. Oh, yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot!

Jill : Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the bank, in an ATM vestibule.

Chandler : Jill says vestibule... I'm going with vestibule.

Jill : I'm fine. No, I'm not alone... I don't know, some guy.

Chandler : Oh! Some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy. [Chandler strides proudly across the vestibule and Jill stares at him.]

Chandler : Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!

[Chandler smiles at her, she smiles back sweetly.]

Chandler : There you go! [He continues to smile like an idiot, and she looks frightened.] Chandler : You're definitely scaring here.

Jill : [awkwardly] Would you like to call somebody? [offering phone]

Chandler : Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with. Yeah, thanks. [takes phone, calls Joey]

Jill : Would you like some gum?

Chandler : Um, is it sugarless?

Jill : [checks] Sorry, it's not.

Chandler : Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.

Chandler : You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. [Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look] 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself

Jill : Well, this has been fun.

Chandler : Yes. Yes, thanks for letting me use your phone... and for saving my life.

Jill : Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. [she kisses him on the cheek] See ya.

[She leaves. Chandler presses his face to the glass door after her, stroking the window lovingly. He then turns to the security camera and starts talking to it.]

Chandler : Hi, um, I'm account number 7143457. And, uh, I don't know if you got any of that, but I would really like a copy of the tape.

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And now, Vinu, Raghu et al will laugh till they hurt everywhere.. But thats the pact, always reveal such gaucheries to thy bretheren.. :)

And I'll continue driving a Ferrari, blindfolded and just 'looking' for the Scent of a Woman:)) And if one were to fall off a cliff, then breaking the fall would certainly make me quite weak in my knees, my heart would palpitate 200 beats/min and I would be at a complete loss for words !

Sunnyvale, 2003

Raghu and me return from a car wash and his shiny, 2 door Black Acura Integra is gleaming in the sun. Its an awesome sight. We park and as we get off the car and head towards our apartment, along comes a decent white chick clad in denim shorts, returning to her apartment after emptying the trash. She stops, takes a look and exclaims " Nice Car " !

And I think Raghu will not slip this time, there's an invite.. Thats a subtle pick up line.Surely, he would say " Care for a ride, how about some coffee sometime," or something chivalrous that would set the ball rolling...

Alas, we are living in a world of fools, breaking us down.

Raghu, him the tyro, the quintessential greenhorn, quips " Yeah, you wanna buy it ?? "

I gape. She gapes. Turns around and walks off without a word.. Too numbed perhaps :)And Never to use that pick up line again !

Dude, you wanna a potential date to buy your car ?? Are you even for real.. you ATUL.Chal, lets go on chow on the Haldirams namkeen and watch the Salman Khan DVD we got, for thats what behooves us. And the tale is conference called across the States and to India and laughed at :)