BskDude Banter

Till Death Did us Apart... And No More I Love You's

2005-12-25T03:36:00.000-08:00

They say speak not of the dead but good.. And if anyone were to find a single person in this entire planet who would have a grouse to air or have a personal peeve about Appa in their interactions with him and be able to justify it, please make it known to me and I would willingly indulge in a long drawn conclave or an for -all -to -see -and -hear debate and dispel any such nonsensical rhetoric about my dad and make all such hearsay totally null and void. Rescind and recant, ye mortals, for a diverse jury has been out with a unanimous verdict from ages now about Appa's amicable disposition, the ceaseless do-gooder, the humanitarian, the philanthropist, et al. And I had to write this as early as possible, because the emotive vulnerability is at a high and I am still foible to believe that I can't live normally in his perennial absence. Devout husband, terrific dad, great friend, loving uncle, magnanimous brother, brother-in-law numero uno.. Nah, these words sound so cliche and it would be typecasting him...for he was unique in a myriad number of ways, something which can't be put down with ease or contemplation..and the insouciance he brought in during his better days to those who banked on him,young or old,will be legendary.

Just 2 weeks after turning 72, Appa passed away on December 22nd, 2005 at 7:30 PM in the Intensive Care Unit of the Bangalore Hospital, a place he unwillingly frequented like an inveterate gambler over the past year, succumbing to a prolonged illness and a multitude of complications that made him a wreck, physically and mentally. Diffident yet, he chose to ride roughshod over it till the end, as he so frequently did during various phases of his life, coping all that was thrown at him with an admirably stoic will , and at the same time, a man resigned to the inevitable, a fate and an eventuality that no mortal who has walked the earth has ever managed to hoodwink. When death comes calling, there can often be no rhyme or reason, no precursor, and certainly no bagpipes. In dad's case though, the writing was pretty much on the wall, but there were hopes and signs that he would pull through again, as he had done so miraculously over the past few years, and as the docs quipped, outliving the cat that has nine lives..! Alas, it was not to be and as I was privy to the final sigh and the heave of the chest of his, a gamut of emotions ranging from numbness, vacuous, to a vicarious relief that he would have to endure no more divine retribution in this lifetime surged through the mind. Good riddance to Duphalac, Lasix, Flavedon, Nitrocontine, Vitcofol, Pantodac, Augmentin, Aldactone and the ubiquitous IV fluids and Dopamine, Oflin, Acyclovir, Crocin..and a plethora of other pharma stuff.. and enough of me playing the quack, deciding on the amount of Lasix to give based on the water logging, the amount of duphalac based on his bowel movements, the discerning of his condition that I got accustomed to, the cleansing of the pungent bile..Yes, Appa lived life a moribund way towards the end, lived many days like he was dying, walked a fine line, yet sprang back many a time, flattered to deceive.. as he himself used to tell the doctors wearily ... " What doctor, its become an Aaya Ram, Gayya Ram" scenario.. And Dr Bhat would quip back " Atleast you are coming back to us, the Gayya Ram often makes himself scarce after a couple of visits " !!

No sooner would he get home, he would hit the account books, make the few calls and, dear me,when mom fell a bit sick a while back, even cooked for us and how ! It gave him immense satisfaction to be among the chores again, be it watering the plants, starting the washing machine or hanging out the clothes to dry..but most of all to see me off to work in the morning, packing my lunch box, dusting my helmet, hand me all my stuff and then upon return, greet me with the famous " Hello Mukundu Mari..." and opening out to the bear hug, which he lately started shunning from me.. Sakkamma, Nan Kyli Aagala Inna, please... and call out to Amma thus .. Vasantha, please free me from this Kalla Kulla ;) And the lines which will be etched in my memory forever.. "Hogole, I did'nt fear my Boss, didn't fear my mom, my wife or anyone.. but you..you scare me sometimes.. Please Come, let's go to Vidyarthi Bhavan.. :)

So many minutiae come to mind, it would be impossible to put them all down here.. like Tom Hanks says in Sleepless in Seattle ..Well, it was a million tiny little things that, when you added them all up, they meant we were supposed to be together....
And whenever I snuggled up to him at night (which was daily) and said "Appa I love you, he would quickly repartee.. " But, I don't.. I love only Mukhyapraana ( Lord Anjaneya) and I want to leave this bloody world .. God please take me away"and then sensing that I would be bemused, quickly pull me close and plant the priceless 3 kisses, one on each cheek and the third on the forehead and quip "Me Too .."!! Dad lacked none in wits and was as pragmatic as they come.. Guilt plagued him for all the trouble he felt he was subjecting us to, though we never felt the burden.. And he was evolved far ahead of the times he was born in and lived through, though he still wondered at technology and the stump vision camera of Channel 9 :)

Pulled out of a 7th grade exam, when he was just 13,(in1946) due to his father's sudden demise, life must have been tough for a large family suddenly thrust in the throes of penury and not knowing where there next meal would come from. Dad recounted that many a day they would go with rice ganji and milk and worry about the next day.. and learning to share, sacrifice and live became ingrained in him, a thing which he stuck by till the very end.. Living selflessly became his cornerstone and parsimony was not a word to be found in his dictionary.

Many were the friends and relatives who were helped out when in need and made to see better days. The magnanimity was not lost out on the animal kingdom as well and cows, dogs and the odd cat were avaracious recipients of many a meal. Before falling seriously ill, he would be up at 5 am, jump rope, warm up, swim from 6 am to 7 am, come rain, cold or sunshine, go to the market and buy stuff and be home even before I would be up.. His zeal for life never failed to amaze people and the indefatigable attitude towards many a seemingly unsurmountable task was something he became well known and appreciated for.. And so, he would stand in serpentine queues amidst cricket crazy fans at KSCA and get lathi charged, find mention in the Deccan Herald the next day that a heart patient was beaten up and walk away with a couple of priceless tickets..:) .. Cricket crazy was Dad and rubbed it off on me.. and regaled us with many tales and the great matches he had witnessed at Chepauk, listened to on the radio and elsewhere..

There was more to Appa than that met the eye and yet he preferred being inconspicuous, and shy away from all the spotlight. Simplicity and humility made sense to him and it didn't augur well with him to pry , he eschewed being nosey and took pride in being a natty dresser. Kids were all time favourites and my cousins Rajini and Murali would vouch for it, as well as the numerous other cousins who liked the gregarious Madhi Mama for a whole lot of reasons, many of which find mention in an earlier blog I had penned about appa. Married at the age of 41, I must have been everything to him and mom and the pampering that dad showered on me is no secret among frnds and relatives..! Mukundu Mari meant the world.. and it didn't help that I was a Problem Child.

The universal rule is all good things must come to an end.. and surely there's no exception to it. And so subtle can the difference be..From pouring water, syrup and milk down his throat and bathing and dressing him up when he was still alive, to pouring hot ghee, milk and curds over many parts of a limpid 'body' the very next day and set it alight, the dichotomy can be enervating and leave one completely befuddled with this unfinished jigsaw puzzle called life.

And when it was time to sift through the smoldering pile and gather the bones, I wished I could catch a glimpse of whatever was left of the cirrhotic liver, the CBD stent in situ, the stent in the UT, the malfunctional right ventricle and literally make no 'bones' about it.. Dad had become a 'stent man' as Dr Lorance joked once..and though the humour was lost out on appa, as his hearing had waned and his eyesight was none too good, he liked Dr Lorance the best for he always said he'll send him home soon and spoke kannada a bit funnily ;) Apologies Dr Bhat, but he kinda held you at an exalted level and thought it was better to ask Dr Anupama or Dr Lorance, lest he invited your ire !

Hepatic Encephalopathy can be a real gut wrencher to see, the faculties would have gone haywire, the right hand wouldnt know what the left is doing and the demented rage can mainfest itself into something surprisingly quite strong and you can often be the recipient of a few sound slaps ! Fettered to the bed, dad would shout out for release, berate the ward boys and the sisters, swear that I was responsible for all this and moan and groan the night away. If only one could buy a liver, bile duct and gall bladder in the market and ease it in as they do with parts for motor vehicles, life would have been so much easier !!

Yet, in a fuzzy cerebral state, dad had the wherewithal to sing and speak some amazing stuff.. A day earlier, he had sung beautifully, and loudly, ( leaving the sisters on the shift bewildered) from 3 AM for a couple of hours and I was stirred out of deep slumber as he continously clapped and chanted Hanuma, Bhima, Madhwa for a good 2 hours..!! He followed it up the next afternoon, for 3 hours straight about Purandara Dasa, Madhwa Philosophy and waxed eloquent about all the doctors for everything they did in fluent english and kannada... only mom got to listen to it though, and as luck would have it, she had no voice recorder to tape it.. "There was a saint...." he began and amma listened spell bound as he reeled off some heady stuff..Was he partaking in a seance in a different strata, the minutes of which he managed to leak out ? Maybe the departing get a premonition before they answer the last and final boarding call..and then after the storm bloweth over, the lull sets in, as opposed to the usual lull before the storm! But we'll continue to be selfish and fight till the very end, at times unmindful of the travails they are going through, yet the vision clouded by ifs and buts, we are prepared to run it up the flagpole and finally, almost as an afterthought, leave the rest to the almighty ! As dad would ironically joke many a time at home " Operation successful, but the patient died"..! Brevity is the soul of wit and it seemed to bounce of him many a time. When I asked him to read the blog I had written about him sometime back, he said " Nah, thats to be done/written after I'm gone "!!

And as difficult as it might seem, we have to learn to leave and let go.. and listening to the religious discourse called Garuda Purana at home, I feel it probably behooves us to accept, at times, rather reluctantly and ridiculously, that there is justice in death (?).. in whatever crude and unsightly manner it comes calling, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake, truculent tsunamis, howling hurricanes, quakes, fires or bullets from lunatic missionaries ...all unmindful of the type of victims that are to fall prey to these vagaries of nature.. and the shock factor can be such that many are scarred for life.. Quagmires to be quelled, shards that no super glue can join..

The Truth shall set you free ? Death, a great leveller indeed, and to every seminal or germinal event a terminal call.

I think we should count ourselves real fortunate then, that Appa wasn't a victim of any of the above, rather 'nature' took its course, and that truce was called in a manner that made sense..
And the river ride on the theppa or the coricle at Tirumkundlur ( T Narsipura) to the intangible spot where the confluence of the Cauvery, Kapila and Spatika Sarovara occurs, had a concomitant in a balmy breeze, that served to dispell the cataclysm that I was confronted with. Appa, the water wasn't too cold, only knee deep and lucid..and I did what was asked of me... and we later fed the monkeys there too, as you so often did at H.A.L.!

Appa - my philosopher, mentor, friend and El Capitano, thanks for nurturing me through all the 30 years, taking care of my schooling, college, dishing out pocket money, instilling core values, buying rasgollas and misty dahi at K C Das, making Xmas caps for school, making all the lovely banana and mango milk shakes for us boys, bearing painfully through my US sojourn, receiving me at the airport, no matter what hour or what condition you were in, and a zillion other things for which there's no payback... I tried my best, did what I thought was good for you, and even got to take you places in my new car... Marriages and other functions would have left you wistful perhaps, but I just couldn't pull that one thing off.. I'm so sorry, but I thought I was onto something and you would have liked the best for me.. and you have handed over the keys to a world that hitherto was all new to me, and I don't like booking LPG cylinders and going to the post office every month or standing in Q's at banks!! I wouldnt even want to go into your shortcomings, though you could go a bit slack on being recalcitrant :)

Yet, as I walked away after thanking the doctors at the hospital, I halt at the steps and realize that there were still questions that I didn't ask them (as usual) and half turn to do so.. would the efficacy of the stent in the bile duct been much more had we got it done much earlier, maybe 2 years ago ? Was removing the Double J stent a mistake that led to the sepsis ? Why did water inundate his lungs ? why did his K+ drop, what happened in the end ?... and then realizing that its an exercise in futility, I make haste for the exit and there's no looking back.. thnks to all the folks who served him, for without you all, I wouldn't have had the means to deal with so many things.. Thnks Nagendra Mama and co, Madhu Mama and Co, my cuzin Paapani and everyone else.. You all have been terrific and i'm indebted forever to you people now... and have no idea how I can payback !!

It will continue to be my folly then, or a fallacy, to harbour a thought that we had a relationship like no other father-son ever, that my loss was like none other and the nuance not easy to comprehend by anyone else.. and this myopism on my part will hold sway for some time, for better or worse.. and the placebo that is Father Time will have to work its charm all over again and purge me and amma of this ponderousness thats beset us. Its (time) got something to do about being an universal healer!

In many ways then , dad was similar to my ajji (his mother-in-law) about whom my uncle had written this eulogy. And if we can try and emulate even a wee bit of what these 2 great souls have done.. sigh.. It seems like a pipe dream surely, but then if we were to atleast try and aim for the stars, maybe we can get a wee bit close, what ?

And while I am at it, maybe Appa would come out in the wide open space once on a starry night and talk some sense into me.. just like in Lion King, when Simba gets a sermon from his dad out of the night sky.. an Aakash Vani with a familiar countenance..Aah, the visions I conjure up, the toon freak that I am :)

Amma, who's held fort superbly all the 5 years, asks of me quirkily " You love/loved him more than me right ? " !!! C'mon mom, I can do without this and I am not answering any trick questions. Let's heal ourselves first and you better have 3 kisses and hugs lined up every day henceforth !! Que Sera Sera..

Salutations then to a great soul, who'll remain in our hearts forever and will be venerated by one and all. May his tribe increase.

In closing, here's an email I'm producing verbatim which he wrote to me for my birthday while I was in the US during May 2001, while being sick and spent hours at the keyboard in the process !!

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dear Mukund, trust this finds u in good spirits. keepcheerful come what may. u have the god`s blessing. tomorrow is yr BIRTH DAY. your coming into being with eyeswide open & with tiny fingers in the rosy mouth is green in my memory & it shall remain so for ever. godbless u for aother HUNDRED fruitful MAY soconds.tomorrow we have given for PANCHAMRITHA abiseka at our pranadevaragudi near minto. so we will not be available between8 amto 11 AM& in cace if we are not available even after11 AM u may try ch pet if necessary.. yr ever loving ammm/appa

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IMHO and my six pence, if anyone is presented with an opportunity to take care of parents when in need or otherwise, don't shirk... don't think twice..,Illness, loneliness and the disillusioned mindset at that time is an anathema that they needn't court, shouldn't serve as a harbinger of an insipid dusk and needn't be an ivy they would cling on to in hope of a better tommorrow.. I faltered a bit, but made some ground towards the end...

For all those who have had the pleasure to interact with my dad in whatever capacity, please leave your comments in this blog itself, anything interesting, anything nice you can remember him by.. I have added a few messages I got by email... thnks once again for all your support and best wishes..

Married to the Mob

2005-10-22T07:58:00.000-07:00

**Disclaimer** :
This was originally put up quite sometime back,then stricken off the pages as it was perceived as perhaps disdainful or flippant to a section of the society. It was all but that, and meant as nothing more than a lighter look at quirky things that conspire, to transpire, and leave one bemused.. To folks out there, I hasten to reiterate, this is not to take a dig at anyone, no sexism intended,and not to be misconstrued as even being a lampoon..It is, essentially, just a very lighter view on certain things, nothing more, nothing less..
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Amma :Mukund, take a look at this alliance proposal that has come in..

Hmm, here goes again…What’s new about this one? Have I met my match?Nonchalance reigns as I open up the envelope. A few more of these and I can claim to be a broker and pursue a career of a Wedding Planner.
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Yep, meet me bwn 7-8 pm on Mon-Wed-Fri at Raayar matta, 6 – 7PM on Tue-Thu- Sat at Madhwa Sangha and on Sundays at 12 noon beneath the Big Banyan Tree.Yours for the asking, no purchase necessary, no registration, no fees, no sleaze.I deliver upfront, have no cronies, don’t know what sleight of the hand is, andam vicarious to your conjugal bliss. Here’s a good Samaritan, a Jerry McGuire.Plus I have my own PC (32 inch monitor), Color Printer, Scanner, Modem/DSL/Broadband, CPU, Keyboard, USB, Optical/Wireless Mouse, gizmo photo editing software, digital camera as well as webcam, can shoot in black n white or color, morph like a pro, add in surreal blackgrounds as I have seen in certain pictures . I can even scan negatives and make pictures out of them, there’s a new trick, damn it! I know the purohits and can make the horoscopes match if the dame likes the dude and wants to seal the deal.

I’m the best in the business, QED.
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Back to the matter in hand:
Can’t understand nuts about the horoscope as usual.. Leave it to the wise men. Hmm, there are 2 of them, the horoscopes .. weird...

Next comes the picture… Hey, what is this, there are 2 identical pictures? Agreed that sometimes we get two slightly different pics, but these are so much alike, that if a spot-the -difference contest was to be run on them, I would be all at sea trying to figure out any discrepancies bween the two… Kamaal Hai Yaar..

But wait, there’s more to come… 2 bio-datas as well. This is getting weirder. Scratching my head, I query Amma..“Yenamma Idu, why have they sent 2 copies of everything? Do they own a Xerox shop?

Amma : Take a look closely will you ?Well, I do and I’m still at large and tell her thus.

She retorts “ Thu mundede, saryaagi nodu (dumbo,look carefully). They are Twins. "

Twins !!!!!! Whoa… why now, the sheer absurdity.. I'm completely flummoxed by the preceding events. How incredulous can this get! Sure enough, I look closer and the first names differ by a couple of letters, but that’s about it. Every other genetical trait is a spitting mirror image, both of them have attended the same educational institutions from childhood, done the same programming courses of VB, ASP, JAVA, Oracle etc, pursued the same extra-curricular activities et al.

Almost immediately, as if on cue, the devil in my mind comes into play. Visions of the Phook Yu and the Phook Mi Japanese twins from Austin Powers Part 3 (Goldmember),the Isabella Sisters from the pondy magazines we used to stack up in Miami, Seetha Aur Geetha, Ibbaru Hendira Muddina Police, Gharwaali Baharwaali, Aasege Obba Meese ge Obba… Groovy Baby…! My grandfather married twice, Saddam Hussein had his own harem….Would I be a Terminal Emulator…what a pj. Come to think of it, even George Castanza in Seinfield gets an invite for a monajatwa.

Amma, isn’t bigamy outlawed yet?
Amma : Ayyo, Pedd Mundede (idiot). You are supposed to choose 1 of them.

Oh. Huh? One of them.. But, with all due respect, why present both the profiles. And there’s so little to choose from, save for the names. Perhaps this is what they mean (or don’t) when they say “What’s in a Name”.In the background, Dad enjoys my misery and chuckles with mirth. Nice Dad, thanks!

What next I wonder?? Triplets, Quadruplets, the Pentagon, Cheaper by the dozen… Geez, disaster is in the air, that I know for sure.
EOF
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It's a well known fact that women are or can be a fickle lot. They can indulge you in a lot of nice things, ask ponderous questions, call you sweet nothings, lose so badly at chess that you are embarassed and almost apologetic at having won, (ok, it wasn't GM Koneru Humpy), tell rules of Tennis that are so absurd it leaves you laughing,and then without any premonition, pen their own version of How to Lose a Guy in 10 minutes (let alone 10 Days), leaving one with a "I'm A Doofus" Calvin like expression writ large on the face. Vayoooow !

As a member of their clan itself humourously put it, many a time, they themselves don't know What Women Want, so we shouldn't be wasting our time shooting in the dark :) Point taken, Only Fools Rush In. Singing Kabootar Ja Ja and then shooting the messenger dove is acceptable :)

Simply put, It can be All About a Boy and a Girl..and Bollywood continues to capture it quintessentially from years now, the initial gaiety, the prancing round the trees, then the tear jerking moments, the seemingly irreconcilable differences, the absoloute NO-GO's and the No CAN DO's and then, hey presto, they hold hands and walk off into the sunset, forever and forever and forever after :)What's your muse Bollywood ? Love's Labour Lost, no, ? Go Figure huh!

Rehna Hai Tere Dil Mein is playing on TV.. Maddy'Mahadevan'Sastry, has fallen for Diya Mirza..and she for him as it appears..Ha, but wait, along comes Saif, the US guy, an old time rival of Maddy on the streets of Mumbai..Things happen and the gal is caught in a vortex.. Just when it appears Maddy's made his case, Saif hands him his invite of his wedding with Diya, a staunch rebuttal to all of Maddy's claims.. Maddy's shattered, confronts Diya, shouts at her, berates her for falling for the Green card and the US$ (strings attached), and then goes and get drunk on the streets and waltzes to Sach Keh Raha Hai Deewana, closely on the heels of the lovely Zara Zara ;) Cool Only !

Sobering up, he decides to seek a change of fortune in Los Angeles (why ? ), bids adieu to a Dad, whom he has said earlier means everything to him and won't desert him for anything, and a gathering of to-die-for-dosts.. and ya, the hopeless romantics at the theatre are miffed, some on the verge of tears.. but elsewhere, the gal can't handle it as well, Saif sizes up the situation, and presents her to Maddy just as is he about to embark on the plane.. the Last and Final Boarding Call for Maddy is never answered to, and Saif.. well, he walks off into a world that's at large again for him, but a role which he carries off well, inspite of having to play second fiddle in this chick flick.. and Bollywood scores its point again... There is, and, can be Love with no Strings Attached.. You just need to open out to things :)) I'll say 50-50.. instances of without strings attached abide in large numbers, a sparkling white, poignant, unfettered...and on a parallel runs the strings attached course, no less white too maybe!.. who's to say what's wrong, whats's right, it ain't worth it. Each to his own, horses for the courses if need be..

Two nice stories I got to read..
http://in.rediff.com/getahead/2005/oct/07wed.htm
http://www.rediff.com/getahead/2005/sep/02love.htm

And I'm privy to the FAQs or MAQs .. "Got Married Yet ? What's happening, making any progress ?? Did you try the net,chatting up with someone, you never know " ?? etc etc.

" I met a girl who sang the blues
And I asked her for some happy news,
But she just smiled and turned away....
And they were singing, Bye-bye, miss american pie."

I haven't zenned it yet and am saving the last dance for Bin Tere Sanam. And even Pappu Pass Hogayya, with Distinction, no less..Not that I was in the running anytime I guess !
Yen Samachara, Yella Nan Grachara :)

And oh, heard the Joke that's doing the rounds ??

Why are Women like Hurricane Katrina and Rita ?
- Because they moan and scream when they come, and take the house and car when they go :))

Who's selling Insurance for such ? Gimme a Holler..

Writer's Block

2005-09-22T03:07:00.000-07:00

That’s it… I figured it all out. I have had an attack of Writer’s Block. Gawk!!And I’m so scared, geez ! Blogging is fun, I miss it. How lame, huh.. ! It always gave me a channel to spool out some trash, exchange views with fellow bloggers, blog hop like crazy, chat up with the like minded, laugh etc.. Sigh, all for a price.. It’s been a bit tough these days, what with dad being sick and other activities that you are nonchalant to, taking up time etc etc.. But I admit, when I get down to write something, I’m like duh.. Like Saurav Ganguly at the batting crease, like Supandi at the market, like Smoke on the Water, like a shell shocked moose caught in the headlights bang in the middle of a busy expressway, like Zaphod Beeblerox in the Improbability Drive :)

That’s right,Zaphod, from the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy is to die for.. And as you read through it voraciously, you can be forgiven if you forget what commonsense is, laugh along at the utter absurdity, the zany, the wacko, the wry wit !!.. Great way to unwind at the end of the day, surely..

So I’m reading these days and I still blog hop to the same old sites that are saved in the browser, and an occasional new one, sheer laziness preventing me from venturing into newer ones and I could care a rat’s ass now,(even though they rule our world, Earth, which is nothing but an organic matrix, part of a 7 million year old experiment being run by 2 mice in outer space, to unravel the question, yes the question, to an answer which is 42!!.. And to think mice or their ilk are viewed as ‘lab rats’ by us. Makes sense? *** Get your copy of the Hitchhikers Guide, else if.. ) ..

And I notice they all more or less adhere to the pattern that identifies or distinguishes their blog from the others. But that’s where I stop, I no longer try to unravel or muse on their take. This must be Write –Read Block, need to get a techie support guy in Kormangala on the phone at 230 AM to unlock it. And I googled to read about Writer’s Block and went a step further and copied a humorous look at it below, at least that way, I am on the Write Line again !

Writer's Block: Myths and Facts By Steve Yudewitz

Anyone who has been around writers for any length of time has heard someone complain about Writer's Block. This article will explore the myths and facts that surround the disease that affects millions of writers. Much to my chagrin, it seemingly impacts every writer except for the guy who wrote that horrible book on leadership development that my boss asked me to read.The following are some frequently asked questions about Writer's Block and responses based on research and experience:

What is Writer's Block?
Writer's block, known by the name Muse Apnea in medical circles, is the term for a temporary condition that prevents writers from putting pen to paper and put sentences together.

Is there a cure?
Unfortunately, No.

Sheesh! Couldn't you sugar coat it or something? Surely, there must be a cure!
On the advice of colleague on low carb diets, I have decided it is not prudent to sugar coat anything. It will only cause your body to stop burning fat. I reiterate; no cure exists for Writer's Block.

Bummer! Is all hope gone?
Absolutely not! Most hope is gone. Just kidding. Actually, the way Writer's block affects you depends entirely on the way you (as a writer) come to terms with an obstacle that is a normal part of the creative process. If you accept the stoppage as fait accompli, you are doomed. If you have the mentality of an adventurer warrior, you will fight your way through the obstacle, all the way embracing the hardship and heartbreak of Muse Apnea as part of the magnificent journey that is the creative process.

I've heard that Writer's block doesn't exist. Who's right? You or a whole mess of best selling authors such as Robert Parker?
Me, of course. Actually, Whether Muse Apnea exists is either a question of semantics or theology. What many authors mean when they deny the self-evident existence of Writer's Block is that they simply refuse to let anything interfere with their ability to create. They do not believe Writer's Block exists; therefore, it cannot destroy the creative process. That said, my neighbor Bob may not believe that a nine-foot alligator patrols the canal across the street, but he will end up with teeth marks in his leg if he wades through the water at snack time.

I've heard that Writer's block is nothing but an excuse for laziness and procrastination. What's your take?
When a famous author at a writer's conference said that "the Block" is bogus, I became so agitated that I vowed that I would send him an angry letter, but at the time, I just didn't feel like it. That was a couple of months ago. I'm sure I'll get to it later this week.My take on Muse Apnea is that if it exists for you, then it exists, and it must be dealt with.

How do people treat Writer's Block?
Topical creams and antidepressants. Failing that foolish approach, several methods have proven effective. My next article will discuss some of these methods. In the meantime, remember that the creative process is a journey, a quest. Sadly, many will perish along the way. Don't be one of them. Drink plenty of fluids (I recommend water or a decaffeinated tea), remember that creativity ebbs and flows, and know that if you take the time, you will be able to write.

That was overdramatic! What's that all about?
Sometimes going a little over the top will help jump-start the creative process. I went over the top to bring out that point.

Wow, I can't wait for this article to end…
Thanks, you are too kind.

What I meant to say was "Wow, I can't wait for this article to end…so I can do some writing."
Good recovery. If you still need a jump-start for the creative process, I'll provide a writer's prompt.

Gosh thanks! What the heck is that?
Writer's prompts come in many forms. Usually they are a sentence or two describing a scene or a character. Sometimes it is simply a list of words or a single concept. Whatever style or form they are in, you are encouraged to write for 15 minutes or a minimum of 250 words. Generally, you are told not to edit what comes out. The goal is not to produce great literature; rather, it is to get words onto paper.

Here is an example of a writer's prompt:It's Two A.M. and Betty blames Bob for the crisis. Bob thinks Betty is overreacting. Both characters are neurotic Chihuahuas. The prompt provides the characters and the scenario. You, the writer, provide the rest.A short piece based on the Chihuahuas prompt might look like this:

Snap! The sound of the latch breaking echoed through the cold, empty halls of the animal research center. Betty shuddered. She knew that Bob's carelessness would send up an alarm. Again, their escape attempt would be cut short. "Fool!" Betty whispered harshly. "Didn't I tell you not to use the leash to try to unlock the cage? They'll catch us for sure." Bob's beady black eyes cut through Betty. "Will you give it a rest? We're fine. Even if the alarm goes off we have a good two minutes to make it to the outer wall."

Quick and heavy footsteps could be heard in the distance. Human footsteps. "You hear that, Bob?" Betty asked. "That's Zack. You remember what happened last time he caught us.""He's not going to catch us. But if we stay in this part of the hall, I'll catch one horrible cold. Let's move.""Quit barking at me." Betty grunted.

Bob and Betty ran quickly across the frigid tile. They made it past the third kennel and the sleeping night watchman.The footsteps were closer now and Bob's little leg muscles were burning from Zackustion. He wheezed and coughed, wondering whether Zack had put something in his dog food in the morning. He thought the new dog food tasted funny. Was it the beef kibbleser or some sort of experimental medicine in the kibbles?

"What's wrong?" Betty asked. "You're panting.""Did you have the kibbles this morning?""How can you think of food at a time like this?""Answer the question.""No!" Betty screamed."No, you didn't have the kibble or no, you're not going to answer?"Betty shook her head. "No. No. No." She raised her paw and pointed at the man standing between them and the outer wall.

Obviously, the above is not great literature by any stretch of the imagination. Nonetheless, it is a stretch of the imagination. And isn't that the real purpose of the writer's prompt?

I don't want to write about neurotic dogs. Can you give me a different prompt?
Sure. Lazlo and Mary are coworkers approaching deadline on a project. Mary is playing with a knife when Lazlo tells her a secret that angers her. There's your prompt. Go out and write the wrongs!
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*I’m motivated now.. Will certainly pen by EOD... of someday** !

Dhaatri's Day out, KBC and the Saakappa Scare

2005-08-11T02:09:00.000-07:00

Lil Dhaatheeee as she calls herself, is a year and a half now, but continues to astonish and delight us all with pranks, tantrums , to say nothing of calling others bluff at will , that would have made kids older to her by even a year, clearly pale in comparision.. No overrated stuff this, she is truly one of a kind.. Perhaps a tad bit big for her shoes or chooos as she puts it .. :)

She has now graduated to flipping cartwheels on a whim or at random, and isnt averse to indulge in gravity defying acts like flipping from the sofas as well.. TV remotes are handled with aplomb, Tom N Jerry loudly laughed at, scenes mimicked with flair, fans and lights turned on as if it was 'child's play' and a cat walk sashayed on request. Too cool ! Not to forget the scowls she can fake when reprimanded, squeal in unrestrained delight when tickled, imitating how a fielder stoops to stop a ball, and badger for pomegranate seeds during meal time :) And lets not even get started on what and how she talks now.. Wow !!It still is mumbo jumbo, by and large, but names take on weird pronounciations and Viji is Bijeeeeee and i'm .. hmmm.. mupooooooo..... :(

The latest stunt she pulled off was in the studios when the family went for a photo shoot. Skimpily clad in a skirt, she was asked by the camera man to sit cross legged on a stool..As she did so, she must have somehow immediately realized that she was short by a few cms on the dress and in a very cool manner, pulled the skirt over her knees, placed her hands over it and smiled for the pic ;) The cameraman, suffice to say, was completely baffled and asked how old the kid was !! See the pic, it says a lot, click on it and zoom in .. Sanji's daughter is a handful and then some..
And oh, Sharon Stone would be impressed !

And so it's time to shop a couple of days back, and I found myself waiting with Sanji outside his office for Veena and Dhaatri to come by around 530.. 530 turned to 6, then to 615, no sign of wifey and kid, and Sanji's countenance turned to a pensive one.. Was Veena done in by Saakappa ? Or was it Irrappa... gosh, what horrors... You see, of late, Veena has been heard exclaiming a lot "Saakappa" or "Irrappa" at home in the midst of her chores or tending to Dhaatri etc :) So much so, it has prompted Sanji to wonder if there is a beau or two by those names whom wifey is making eyes at while he is at work.. Besides, when confronted, Veena has gamely said that in fact there is a Saakappa, she wouldnt want to say anything about Irrappa ;)...Events in the Achari household can really resemble the Hungama movie scenarios many a time and those witness to it will testify the absurdity it goes to !! What Laughs ..:))

So, as 630 approaches and no sign yet of V, Sanji is more perturbed.. Saakappa or Irrappa must have surely worked their charm on his innocent wife.. Atleast she could have left Dhaatri behind with me, while eloping, wails the upright hubby :)) Achari, you should never get others to write luv letters to your wife.. and then circulate them arnd, asking frnds to be wary ...B***ard, I Kill You !!!

To while away the time, we discuss the recent episode of KBC and mock at the inane participants... When queried with the number of states in India that end with Pradesh,the guy starts recollecting and counts AP, HP, UP,Arunanchal.. and stops there.. and says the answer is 4 ...Ayyo Bolimagane, all of Madhya Pradesh, so huge, yen RahamathullahKhan ge seridda ??
Dumbo :) Serves you right to lose ..

Zip Code in US is a trademark used by the postal system, designed to expedite the sorting and delivery of mail by assigning a series of numbers to each delivery area in the United States.
In India it is called - 1) Pin Code 2) STD Code 3) ISD Code 4) Bar Code
And the bozo can't figure it out !! He goes 50-50 :)

And finally, who rendered the historic speech in Chicago
"Sisters and Brothers of America.."
1) Swamy Vivekananda, 2) Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa
3) R Tagore..And he has to take a life line and call someone !!
Geez, what a pathi !!

An auto pulls up and out alights Dhaatri, all pretty in pink, and a smile lights up her face as she surveys the vast expanse of the building before her.. Folks leaving work stop to smile at her and she rushes into papa's arms.. Veena mumbles something about a traffic hold up, but no one's buying it.. We head to the malls nearby ( first Central, later Garuda) and my newly found role of a baby sitter is literally thrust into my arms as the couple make haste to buy stuff..as if being a scuba diver, a swim coach, a plain pandu etc wasnt enough.. ! And the kid can't have enough of the water fountain and the escalators and can't figure out how much loyalty needs to be shared between those 2 .. I might as well have ascended the Stairway to Heaven as we went up and down the esc'tor innumberable times.. I take it out on her by sprinking water on her lil face frm the fountain, which unfortunately made her ask for, and get, more..And she is trying to explain to a granny nearby what the fountain is all about and draws circles in the water and makes all strange signs and faces... Again, not surprisedly, granny asks, how old is this kid ;)

I carry her off and we trail behind her busy parents singing " Haina Bolo Bolo, Haina Bolo Bolo, Pappa ko Mummy se, Mummy ko Pappa se Pyar hai ?".... frm some movie..The lil one for once is mum !! Saakappa Saaku.. An admonishment is met with a scowl, then a slap, then she smiles and says sorry and plants a kiss on my cheek quickly.. sweet surrender..Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin :)

As we descend the stairs and head for the exit, she spots a toy store...Immediately she starts chanting " Anna, paapa beku, Anna paapa, Annna Paaapa "... Dad, whose wallet has just been made a 'mite' lighter, takes one look, turns away and makes quick to the exit.. Visions of Alpeinleibe Pappa Ghar Mey float across his eyes..and worse, his wife cant have enough of Sakkappa.. These are troubled days.. and sigh, to think he is revered at work and looked upon .. definitely out of bounds is the quote
" For Everything Else, there is Master Card " :)

Sukha Samsaarakke Hannerdu Soothragalu?
Nodi Swamy,Naavirodu Heege.

Ashes to Ashes,Dust to Dust..And Only Fools Rush In

2005-08-07T23:16:00.001-07:00

Aug 7th, Sunday saw the culmination of an extraordinary day for cricket. The game's most legendary battle between arch rivals, Australia and England took on such unprecedented twists and turns, and fortunes vacillated on a knife's edge, as first Shane Warne and the indefatigable Bree Lee, and later Lee and Kasprowicz, gallantly took on the Poms pace attack and threatened to spoil the Sunday Siesta for the whole of England in almost chasing down a 4th innings target of 282, after being on the mat at 190 something for 8. Even as Clarke was bowled by a ludicrous lollypop by Harmison that barely rattled his timber on the 3rd evening of the test match, so much so that he could be forgiven if he thought that the burly bowler was being unscrupulous in practising his trade, the whole of England erupted in joy in what they saw would be a cake walk henceforth to claim the remaining 2 wickets and level the series at 1-1. And not too far off, Yuvraj Singh and the redoubtable Anil Kumble, the Indian juggernaut, ensured India scrape through to the finals, seeing off a spirited last minute surge by the young Windies side..!!

Bob Willis and Naseer Hussain, palpable victims of many a Ashes bruising at the hands of the Aussies, let the euphoria get to them in the commentary box as they displayed an avuncular trait in their sum up of the situation, with Bob Willis going on so much to say that even rain wouldn't save the Aussies now, as if he was a pro at the met office from years, and Naseer Hussian chiming in with his own jab at the Aussies and all but saying that doomsday awaited the Aussies on Sunday. Only Beefy Botham and Mikey Holding seemed to have a more restrained approach to it, nevertheless, to a man they felt the writing was on the wall for Ponting's men.

Come Sunday, it was all but that. Shane Warne and Brett Lee strode out and started tonking the Poms to all parts of the ground and shrinking the target. Vaughan was no doubt perturbed, so too all the fans in the stands and the millions watching it on the telly and praying for an England victory. Flintoff unleashed some lethal stuff, Harmison more often than not went for the jugular, Lee got bruised, but they gamely carried on, the last men on the burning deck. The vagaries of the game is such, that it truly is unscripted drama, as a scribe put it. Warney strode onto his stumps while trying to fend off a Flintoff delivery and suddenly the game is wide open again... In walked Kasper and without much ado sent the cherry racing to different parts of the ground to reduce the target further! At the other end, Brett Lee stroked the ball cleanly, took the singles at the right time and shielded, nursed and talked his supposedly less capable partner into hanging out and take it ball by ball.. Frayed nerves set in and when 14 was required, Simon Jones dropped Kasper at 3rd man.. How costly would that be ??

The same commentators ( Willis and Hussain) were now fickle in their narrative. "A most Extraordinary day" Willis pouted bemusedly while Hussain tried to rub it in further by talking about tail enders penchant for run outs, loosing their calm, or anything that could possibly do them in. It was akin to walking into a Miami Strip club, you never know what you would get, good or bad, and they might just rub you the wrong way.. ! 3 runs to get, just a stroke away from an amazing come from behind victory, Kasper gets done in by a fast n furious short ball by Harmison and the whole of England are besides themselves with joy. The 2 Aussie foot soldiers are on their knees, unable to stomach the enormity of it all, even as the Poms jump and jostle on each other like excited school kids who have just been given the week off.. ! For many, the scenes and the preceding events that led to it were to die for, none wanted to say they missed out on this classic. That there's none greater than the game was only further vindicated, if it ever was in speculation by the Doubting Thomases, and there could be no better advertisement for test cricket than this gallant battle between 2 foes for the game's oldest trophy.. !!

Many were the heroes, sung and unung.. Warne, Lee, Trescothick, Flintoff, Giles figure top among them, but Freddy Flintoff clearly left the others behind by a mile with his dashing brawn -n -brain all round display in both the innings and walked away with the Man of the Match. Here was England's answer to the Aussies, they saw him as godsend, a marauder of the Aussie attack, the man with the golden arm when they were on the field. As one banner cheekily proclaimed to the Aussies " You say F*** Off, We Say FLINT-OFF " :)

It was Friendship Day too and as if to epitomize it, Flintoff walked up, and then knelt down besides a shattered Lee and put an arm around him, probably consoling and lauding his epic effort. Lee and Kasprowicz are the nice guys in the Aussie team. And they finished last. A case of so near, yet so far and they are left to pick up the shards and regress. They were never supposed to win in the first place, anyway..and the placebo that is Father Time will have to work its charm all over again. Its got something to do about being an universal healer!

Cricket can be a most fickle mistress goes the saying. And woe betide the fools who attempt to paint a rigid mural of the game and daub it with their own fallacies ;)
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Gosh, its been an 2 exact years since I returned from the land of plenty and started working !!Time simply flies !! And it seems like yesterday me and Viji were on the plane together from London, binging on idlis upon arrival.. How do you cope with it all Viji ?? Its been a long n winding road , you've seen it all, been through the lowest phases, have ridden the crest, been in the trough and weathered many a storm.. Wow, you're truly a champion, may you bat again..!!

But me, given a choice, would rather go back in time now and be daddy's lil boy with the the curly hair and green shorts, to be petted and fretted upon, lean on his strong shoulders and swim with him at the pool and shout My Daddy Strongest and eat the popcorn and Vanilla Softee next to Plaza while watching a Disney toon flick, devoid of all burden..and mimic GRV in the long corridors and get lost in all the priceless books and comics I used to gather of Enid Blyton, Tintin, Asterix et al.. :))

* At the cost of sounding cliched and quoting Prather *

Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes and I am left the same as I began. The more things change the more I am the same. It appears that my life is a constant irony of maturity and regression, but my sense of progress is based on the illusion that things out there are going to remain the same and that, at last, I have gained a little control. But there will never be means to ends, only means. Have to learn to K.I.S.S.

More often than not there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The rainbow is more beautiful than the pot at the end of it, because the rainbow is now and the pot never turns out to be quiet what was expected. And Brett Lee and Kasper will carry it to their graves to R.I.P.. Well done mates, you were just awesome.. Game On !

TINS, SINS, DITS, ZENS et al..

2005-07-08T05:27:00.000-07:00

I remember reading an article in a local daily a short while back about the increasingly demanding (present day) careers/jobs that the youth and the middle age group of India are pursuing or are already metaphorically neck deep into and the subsequent impact of it on the perennial institution called family. So its not uncommon now then that both hubby and wife are working the universal standard hours of 9-5 or later hours and the house is usually a place for a stop over in the 21st century as a friend, read as rags, put it :) ..

So what impact does it have on the denizens of the land of Kama Sutra asks/says the news piece.. How are the couples, new, the saute, the old and the wannabes coping with it all..Does Sex get to have its share of the spoils, is it merely sought as instant gratification, nay as an aftermath to a make up session that follows a sparring match, or is it really an often conjugal sublime, of emotions that transcend understanding, of love that transcends infatuation... or simply platonic love:).. Open a can of worms, yet you wont find the answer, eh !

Yes, hubby in one land, the career wife in yet another part of the sphere, exchanging calls, meeting on fortnights at a venue other than home, catching red eye flights, not seeing each other for a few days even though they work in the same town etc seems to be common and mutually acceptable by both.. Gym sessions have to be adhered too, the doc has to be seen for the mild throb in the head, bills paid on the net.. The Wheel of Fortune has to keep rolling, corporate ladders seem to be getting taller with more rungs to ascend... The Pay off ? Kids and the popcorn at the movies can wait, let alone relatives and the leisurely stroll in the park..I dont know, is it really so much as the newsprint proclaims ?? That too in India .. hmm.. They have to write something, so there.. To dwell upon this, it goes on to categorize the people, read as couples or singles into groups based on some amusing acronyms... So then,broadly put , we have the following, based on the premise that all this is caused by the rigors of the job dictated life, the net you can't get out of and if left unattended to, it can grow into an ugly acme and have repercussions

(None of them my views) :

1) DINS/TINS - Double /Two Incomes, No Sex

2) SINS - Single Income, No Sex

3) DITS - Double Income,Total Sex ( mischievously modified to TITS )

4 ) SITS - Single Income, Total Sex .. The Real Winner, The Dude(or the Dudette) eh !!

DINS/TINS group:

Miranda Warning is on, the moment has passed and it aint happening ! Pepul , pls you should hold back on some of your really critical tasks, take a stock of the situation so as to say and talk to some damned counsellor or Madam Ruth who makes a quick buck often, merely by telling 2 ppl to get cannon loose on one another and make up for lost time.. Seriously, whats the world coming to..
2 adults going to an older(wizened ?) adult to be told to mate.. !!
Heck, and to think there are others who just neednt want to be told not to :)

But its imperative its done.. Be gung ho on this as you are about work.. Make it Happen.. Read and try whatever, take a break, renew erotica vows, hit the boondocks, even resort to ajji leha.. But pls drop down to a milder zone maybe... Here I coin new zones/groups that I am patenting .. DILS, DIMS, TIMS etc... L for Little, M for Moderate.. Bless your souls though if you make it to the DITS zone :))

SINS :

Well, what can be said.. there are so many reasons to go into.. the archetypal Indian Male would be an avowed celibate till suhaag raat, a thing my roomie in Miami, Nikhil Iyer,called as hopelessly unfortunate, singular to one of the most populated democracies in the world and a cause -effect perhaps .. :)) .. Of what it is to tell repeated phirangi dates that at ages 25-27 and above that we are total greenhorns and to be giggled at and asked incredulously if anything was wrong..Why now!! Else to draw away befuddled, a mountain of ethos imposed on the conscience by the holier than thou angels ... if one were to get that far.. !

So he'll contend himself with making love to the tonic and gin, nights of bacchanalian revelry, the ogling, the wistful glances and the darned net search where most gals want a "educated, well behaved, employed, not hypocritical, proper background, intelligent,self confident, caring, fun, should not have any bad habits" etc etc... ! All fine and understood, no offense meant.. though, who in his right senses would proclaim that he's a hypocrite of the nth order, has no civility, has distant filial links with Veerapan's clan, is a complete dud in many aspects and cant get his eyes off the Stocks N Shares every day..Hmm, moot issues..Is there a complete package and then some ?? Vayoow.. what Women Want!

Else, there's the liberal guy ever looking to make his mark, but sadly not happening:( Single Income ya, Freudian Philosophies, (pls click on it) just doesnt know the right moves, can't get the chastity belt off yet.. Keep at it dude, apna haath jagannath, life's a highway, keep gunning :)

Or just the plain and married pandu whose missus wont have anything to do with it, the separated folks, the married guy working in a different country, place and being the breadwinner etc.. I have no idea about the SINS women folk here.. ! :)

SINS guys, you need Love Potion No 9 , you should be good soon ..

DITS :
You guys rock literally :) To be looked upon to be emulated, to walk the walk and talk the talk.. Need no counsellers, no fixed time, impromptu, evangelic to the cause perhaps...Is there anything called too much of a good thing ?? You could care less.. DILS, DIMS sometime maybe..

SITS:
Again, if single in life, the guy is on a bandwagon and those are the best days of his life.. If betrothed or married, well, it ain't bad either and no one's complaining.. Dream On, Dream On. SILS, SIMS sometime maybe..??

ZENS: ( Zero Income, No Sex)

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The definition of a Zen frm the dictionary.

A school of Mahayana Buddhism that asserts that enlightenment can be attained through meditation, self-contemplation, and intuition rather than through faith and devotion and that is practiced mainly in China, Japan, Korea, and Vietnam. Also called Zen Buddhism.

To figure out something by meditation or by a sudden flash of enlightenment. Originally applied to bugs, but occasionally applied to problems of life in general. "How'd you figure out the problem?" "Oh, I zenned it."

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Assuming they are looking for employment, the ZENS might at first glance look the sorry type..But no, they can be cool, savvy, great to get along with as a rule.... Coz I was one of them for a looong time and I kinda liked being the tapori.. well, we are trying, so please spare a thought.. and a few dimes.. and its not like they werent in SINS, DINS, DITS zone.. The wheels might have just come off for a lil while, or heck they might be on a sabbatical... Dont judge em yet, they are the bestest many times.. !! My vote's been with such types frm long ....somethin to do with the common take of rooting for the underdogs..Go, ZENS...!

Hmm, so much flippant stuff to bawl out on a weary Friday...
20 hrs straight, no sleep...

Whats with Women though ?? What do they want !!

Quotes frm ppl :
"Muki,10 yrs aaythu madve aagi, i know better half still 10 % only..!! "

"Maga, 3 yrs aaythu, inna I think I need to learn lot about her "...
"Mukunda, ninge artha aagala adella, halakke bidre gothagadu "..
This wise guy was very cryptic , didnt reveal a tad !!
" Experience maama, no substitute for it... Im still understanding and I cant.. Huh..??".
" 3 months aste guru, it feels like a lifetime and i feel the heat "
"Ayyabba, yaak kelthya..how did god create them such..Parallel lines atleast might meet at infinity,namdu avrdu mindset, sigh... divergent"

etc etc etc ....

O Reilly's- Women: The Complete Reference,
Sams -Teach Yourself Women in 21 days,
A Step-by-Step guide to Women by Rose Mary Maaro....
nowhere to be found, not happening at all ?!!

Right now, im in SINS mode and none the worse off..
none the better off too :(
sixpence richer maybe, but none the wiser :)
On conditions of anonymity or otherwise, care to poll your zones/groups here .. ?? :)

Or whatever opinions.... all in good fun ONLY, no insinuations on my part at all, ditto with u...

Of Likes and Dislikes .. and then some.

2005-06-24T12:11:00.000-07:00

Hmm, got a forwarded sorta questionare, that for once, has been interesting to read,
hasnt made me averse to fill up and set me off on a trip down memory lane.

Here goes ..

The last movie I borrowed (rather last few movies) :

1) 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag - This is gold, Joe Pesci and David Spade rock.. Laughs all the way !
2) A Fish Called Wanda - Jamie Lee Curtis dons many hats as she is 'fishy' as can be :) Wanda! 3) Bourne Identity- Matt Damon, all brawn and a brain in disarray.. Still, good to watch..
4) Mary Poppins - Got it for Dad, never got myself to watch it !
5) Munna Bhai M. B. B. S - Sanju Baba flexes muscles and runs the show !

The last film I watched in Theater :
Hitch : I Need you Maan !

Which five (maybe fictional) characters in B/Kollywood have you had a crush on?
1.Salma Hayek in Fools Rush In – Ok Movie, but there's something about her!
2.Charlize Theron - Devil's Advocate, The Astronauts Wife, etc...
3.Helen Hunt– As Good As It Gets, What Women Want!
4.Sushmitha Sen – Sexy, Sultry, Sizzler!
5.Heather Locklear - Spin City... Chic !!

Five Hollywood films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me:
1. Jackal – Classy, an ATG in my opinion..
2. A Few Good Men – Jack Nicholson is superb..the theme too, food for thought..
3. Pulp Fiction – Sam Jackson,John Travolta all the way..!! Can watch re-runs..
4. Mask – Jim Carrey has to be in a fav'ites list.. and Mask was like nothing before !!
5. Indiana Jones Series…Part I and III...

A charming proffie getting Hitler's autograph on the book that leads to the Holy Grail:)
6. The Usual Suspects - Kaiser Soze.Kevin Spacey is cool only.. Verbal Kint !
- How do you shoot the devil in the back? What if you miss?
7 .Forrest Gump - Life is like a box of chocolates..you never know what you're gonna get.

Five Bollywood films that I watch a lot or that mean a lot to me:
1. Parinda – Sooper Ulti.. Madhuri's ethereal countenance, Nana Patekar's maniacal moods..
2. Sholay– Perfect 10 score plate held up by all members of the Jury !
3. Hungama – Laugh Riot!! Paresh Rawal simply dazzles .. the entire cast, on second thoughts.
4. Andaz Apna Apna – Too funny as Salman and Aamir pair up like Dumb N Dumber .. :))
5. DDLJ - SRK/ Kajol... enough said !
6. Sarfarosh - Holds sway all the way through.
7. Dil Chahata Hai - Lovely foray into a hithertho unexplored area in Indian moviedom..

Five Hollywood/Bollywood types that I can't stop slurping over:
1. Sharon Stone – Sexy, Savvy, suave..
2. Madhuri Dixit–
"Madhuri Dixit Milli Raste Mey, Usne Kaha Mere Ghar Aaja,Mey boldiya Na Baba Na :)
3. Sushmitha Sen – As detailed above.
4. Dimple Kapadia - Sagar Jaise Aankowaali..? Bobby Bhool Ja ?
5. Jennifer Anniston - Friends, in the early seasons..

Dudes I think have no right to be this cool / hunky:
Keanu Reeves, John Travolta, Jack Nicholson, Amitabh Bachan, George Clooney,Sean Connery, Tim Robbins, Joe Pesci, Rahul Dravid, Roger Federer, Saif Ali Khan, Al Pacino, Robin Williams..

H/B/Kollywood people I'm supposed to be impressed by, but am not:

1. Halley Berry
2. Brad Pitt
3. Julia Roberts
4. Robert De Niro
5. Dustin Hoffman
6. Dharmendra
7. Dr Rajkumar.( Ok, I asked for it, hit me Dr Raj Abhimanigala Sangha)
8. Raj Kapoor - For some reason, he aint getting my vote..

Just Another Day in Paradise

2005-06-11T11:11:00.000-07:00

This posting might end up like the work of a scribe who has to turn in his daily column, be it about the demise of a sewer rat or something as sensational as finding more rivers on Mars, so that he earns his daily bread and pleases the lady as well at home. Yet, I have the privilege of doing neither :) And I'm so bored on a Saturday Night !!

Weather :

Bangalore was awesome, splendid and nothing short of a balmy day. Sooper Ulti!

Event :

Got pulled along by Viji to Infosys, where he was invited as chief guest to preside over the prize distribution to the two finalists of the Corporate cricket tournament. He still enjoys great patronage as was seen from the people who walked up to him and exchanged pleasantries, took pictures and his speech was honest, yet succinct , extoling the spirit with which the corporate teams took part in the tournament, money not being the main reason, but mostly to have good fun..No beating around the bush, no digressing off into a ramble.. Neat stuff Viji, I hope you dance again, like you used to a very short time back, down the track, destroying the spinners at will, taking on the speedsters with aplomb.. and aah, those cover drives which even Harsha Bhogle once commented that it was a sight worth watching in Indian cricket. Cmon bro, Cmon !!!

Lunch :

Woodys at J P Nagar and tucked into Jeera Rice, Channa Batura, Curd Rice and BBBath with gusto.. Not to mention the 'just cant keep away from it ' Strawberry Milk Shake which is so much a compulsory buy everytime we go there! Whoa Woodys, but none the richer for the stuffing we undertook.. Lighter Wallets, heavier stomachs :)

Rendezvous at City Institute :

Swim Time.. Students Raghu, Sanji and Lakshman practise the strokes earnestly and diligently.. Sanji's made good progess, Raghu's getting better.. Laxman though needs a lot of proper training and unlearning the wrong stuff.. Sanji's all ga ga over his newly learnt underwater glide, the efficacy that a pair of fins bring about to his strokes and the now intrepid dives he undertakes in deeper waters and surfaces with lil trouble and swims to the other end ... Atta boy, way to go... June end, you should be all set !! The ocean beckons ;)Raghu's more accustomed to diving, surfaces well, even gets stones from the deep end floor, still is stiff around the arms/legs for the front crawl.. You'll get there.. Keep at it...

SLV Satiation :

Post swim universal rule is to stuff oneself and replenish the carbo loss and the muscle atrophy :) SLV Chamarajpet just about answers to the plea-bargain of the stomach and the varied cuisine goes a long way in pleasing the most refined palates of 5 famished swimmers, the crisp vada promptly being ordered a second time around ... Shavige Baath, Idli ,Khara/Kesari baath.. All down'ed. Aaha, what joy !! Imagine what/how much we can eat after a Triathlon :)

Lil Dhaatri :

Sanji's daughter is just 1.5 years, yet she has become a lil brat to handle.. Impish, always with a ready smile (She smiles in sleep, smiles when she wakes up,smiles at anything !!),fiercely competitive and protective of her dad whenever someone tries to take him away from her, she dawdles the hours away, babbling quite a lot of mumbo jumbo and interspering them with some coherent words and vigorous nodding of the head in any direction that pleases her. Never shy to give a flying kiss, a boxing fist ( her dad taught her that) and an " I NEED ATTENTION" scream, she's the lil bundle of the joy in the family and there's never a dull moment with her around.. You'll be getting a cousin soon, so behave!! But she gels great with mua and we mutually laugh at each others antics :))

Movie Time :

Ride out with Sanji, rent DVDs, return home. DDLJ is playing on Sony Max. And it still is nice to watch in many parts, the first of its kind in an era that spawned of a lot of NRI typecast films and overseas love stories.And as a bloodied SRK stands at the door of one of the bogies of the departing train that would take him back to some airport enroute to London, his eyes refuse to accept defeat.. or so it appears. Enough to make even a stoic and stubborn Ambrish Puri release his iron grip on Kajol's wrist and she runs away to grab the outstretched hand of her beau. JIT too.. The Great Indian Railway has done it again.. Its an ATG, its a classic.. Small wonder then, 500 weeks and still running...Many are the vignettes that make this film such.. Whats the line about Bade Bade Desh Mey aise Chotte Chotte baath .. ..

Its been just another day in Paradise and Sunday and Tini's awaits !

Triumph at Tini's

2005-06-09T02:51:00.000-07:00

The last weekend cricket session at Tini's was one to savour. Life was infused into the proceedings with the return of key players like Vijay Bharadwaj, Shashi a.k.a Shahid Afridi, the mercurial L Ganesh and last but not the least, the ATG 'Counter' Uday. What can anyone say about him ! I have been reading Angels and Demons by Dan Brown from the past few days, where religion is faced off against science, the Big Bang Theory is proposed and its stated that God created everything in symmetry/opposites.. Hell and heaven, light and dark and the most rudimentary thing - matter and its opposite, anti-matter. Somewhere along, I am convinced,that on a quirky note, as his wont, god also created 'Counter' Uday. Just like that. A third juggernaut that has no deterrent.

Uday C Madhyastha, as his name goes, is the anti-symmetry and opposite to everything he comes across in his life. Much like an Universal Opposite. Tell him anything and he has an opposing,counter -point of view, even if they are well established laws of math and science and have been accepted by even the most sceptical. Suffice to say he simply drives everyone nuts ! Why, the other day at SLV, he was eating Kharabath and when our chairman MRS asked him Yelli, ond spoon haaku, he took an empty spoon and threw it,clang, into MRS ' plate :)) ..Chairman's face became so red and he could have easily killed Udi ! Realms can be written about Udi like his Chris Tavare batting at Tini's ( where out of 6 overs available, he blocks 4.3 overs and then decides to slog) or choosing to bowl on a dead track in a league match where the rules stipulated that was an innings match with no limit on the overs. Result ??The Oppn batted for 84.3 overs, sweated Udi's team out and let them bat the last 5 overs :))

Anyways, the play almost never took off, the leg side area being rendered slushy by the rains and thanks to the Lions Rotary people who have broken down a portion of the wall running along the conservancy so that vehicles can come in and park.. The result is a sorry state of affairs as car, bikes, autos ride in and leave deep gashes in the ground when they go through the slush.We need to salvage Tini's again, but how ?? Solle, are you listening ?? swalpa nin hava kalsu maga..

Thrust into the relucant role of El Capitano ( a role with which I have enjoyed unqualified success though, always getting series wins), we found ourselves chasing 26 in the first match.The role of skipper seems to have placed additional responsibility on my, at times, otherwise ridiculously wild batting ( well Shashi maama bettered that ) and I found some terra firma with a few shots and placements. Its always difficult with Size Sundar pounding away , unleashing thunderbolts and baying for blood. It boiled down to 6 of the last over, to be bowled by katte.

Its a golden rule, never bowl to Muki on his legs and at full length. Vonde Shot hodyodu avnu :))But dear katte did just that. A flick was whiplashed for 2 with such elan and power and it even beat the slush on its way to the fence ! 4 remaining.. Katte thundered in, again straight and just short of good length, but there was enough width in the delivery to swing my arms and instinctively drive it straight and uppish.. The yellow cherry crashed into the hoarding,take 4 mates !! Game over, we are one up !! Sabash captain.. !!

Size Sundar can't stomach defeat easily and must win at all costs to keep the series alive. We were batting first and he let loose a string of cannon balls that just thudded into the keeper's hands in next to zero seconds. The moment of the innings though was Gunda's counter attack.Sent to open the innings, he picked upon Sundar and hit some astonishing strokes, one so hard and fast, that it beat a bewildered Raghu on the mid off boundary line, whose reflexes havent been the greatest anyway. Fast N Furious being met with equal pomp, waah ! To rub salt into the wounds, another thunderbolt frm Sundru was crashed to the cover fence by me, and the genial giant he can be, Sundar came up and shook hands for the shot ! We set a target of 26 and the match was all over in the 4th over, when on a master ploy, I bought back Gunda and he bowled a peach of a delivery to have VRB caught behind...Sooper! Series wrapped up 2 -0.

Hmm, and what can one say about the madcap Shashi Afridi ?? Sent to open the innings in all the matches and told to play for singles in no uncertain terms, he wallops the first ball he faced in both the innings into the school with no rhyme or reason.. Booming shots.. Then has the gall to come up and say "Mukku, if it had gone for 4, I would have hit 2 more man " !!

Sigh, how do you catch and pin a cloud in the sky :)

Now we know how Inzamam feels when he talks to Afridi and gives him instructions on how to bat and he does everything but that !

Frittering Away...

2005-05-23T03:16:00.000-07:00

"There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to theorize, a part that wants to sculpt, a part that wants to teach.. To force myself into a single role, to decide to be just one thing in life, would kill off large parts of me. Rather, I recognize that I live now and only now, and I will do what I want to do this moment and not what I decided was best for me yesterday." - Hugh Prather.

Muddled yet today, will jot down all that comes to mind .. Over a day..

Romp Home, Watch a Sunset, Eat a burger, drive a porsche, Crack a joke, Kill a joke, Bite the dust, Grind the Axe, Cut your teeth on glass, Caught in a drunken punch up at a friend's wedding,Munch a Banana Nut Muffin, Blame it on the Devil, Bring out the Best, Hung the best, Remember the Titans, Run the long mile, Swim the Nautical Mile, Dive the Abyss of Christ, Fly over Everest, Raft the Ganges, Brahmaputra and the Alakananda.Rappel the Hampi Boulders, try and understand sci fi.

Don't shoot the messenger on first principles. On second thoughts and principles, WTH, just wax 'it' dead with a bullet,not to leave Staines behind.

The Last Nail in the Coffin always eases in, all its predecessors having their task cut out.The proverbial last straw on the camel's back gets it crashing down to the arid earth (n-1 OK).

Of all the things in the world that money can't buy, to wit, the wag of a dog's tail.
Rake the spring leaves, trash the pessimism, Stoke the embers.
Play with lil Dhaatri.

Ride the Great Indian railway, sip the chai, crumble the cookie, Salsa in the rain.Play the national anthem on the keyboard. Shouldnt have let the molehill become a mountain, now its more than a mite big..If one swallow ONLY did make a summer, never to happen so.Only gaze at the stars, never reach out, its better that way, burnt fingers are nasty.Incredule at the Impasse. Blame it on the unseen forces who always divine best and customize. Be patient at the turnstile to get into Lalbagh, never do a complete circle. Run with the wind behind you.

Bemoan Bangalore's roads and traffic, yellow journalism and over aged, puffed up movie stars. Laugh along with George Carlin. Dream Freudian. Catch a frisbee in mid air as you crash into the water, evoke gasps and claps. Learn the flip and the butterfly. Listen to Pehla Nasha frm JJWS.Watch DDLJ and SRK woo millions of teeny weeny itsy bitsy college cals as he says Palat, palat on some bridge in Europe and she turns, to whistles and a plethora of small change hurled by an audience gone berserk .. So much to cajole Kajol ?

Go to Madame Ruth and get Love Potion No 9.

Revel in Sholay, Sathe Pe Satha, Madhuri's ethereal countenance, Nana Patekar's maniacal moods, Jackie's cold angst, all in Parinda. Ponder wistfully about Gauthami, Kamal and Revathi in Thevar Magan, chuckle at Revathi's naivete as she sings to Kamal. Get vicariously behind Vishnuvardhan as he blows hot and cold in Nagarahavu and croons Baare Baare and jumps off the cliff with his lover . Laugh with Dad and Mom watching Padosan as Kishore Kumar and his entourage (including an artless Sunil Dutt) take on a wacky Mehmood !

Team up with boys to watch Andaz Apna Apna, Hungama, Dalapathy, Badshaah (Tamil),Sarfarosh, Govinda's antics, Forrest Gump, You've got Mail, Jaggesh howlers and Kashinath's hilarious (at times below the belt) lines... and eat at Dwaraka, VB, SLV,Brahmins Coffee Bar..

Admire Jack Nicholson in Few Good Men and As Good As It Gets, laugh along with Jim Carrey and Chris Tucker, delight in Sam Jackson and John Travolta's chutzpah in Pulp Fiction, the cold eyes of Bruce Willis in Jackal, Al Pacino in the Godfather Series and Dog's Day Out... Sing along with Cat Stevens, Peter Frampton, Mark Knopfler, Neil Young and the Temptations.

Play the old classics featuring Cary Grant, Gregory Peck, Audrey Hepburn, Julie Andrews et al such as Roman Holiday, Sound of Music, How to Steal a Million, The Man Who Knew Too Much, An Affair to Remember, Guns Of Navarone, Mackenna' s Gold, The Good, Bad and the Ugly, Love Bug, The Wizard of Oz etc for Dad and interpret.

Get lost in Jungle Book, Finding Nemo, Lion King and Tom n Jerry.

Try and play more cricket, drop less catches, bowl fuller, stun Rahul at Tennis with scorcher backhands, coaxe Raghu that there it too early to hang up the racquet, rack the brains at Chess, overcome gaucherie at Carrom, read the lifeguard manual, practise the tired swimmer tow, the submerged victim retrieve, refresh CPR training, sign up for First Aid training from Red Cross, dream about nitrogen narcosis, petting a dolphin, riding on the back of a whale :)

Go Home Now ! So many things to do, no time to fritter..
BEAT THE TRAFFIC AND RAIN.

Diamond Gaffes and Car Pick Up Lines.

2005-05-10T02:00:00.000-07:00

Guys,

What would you say when a member of the fairer sex says " You are a Diamond".. ?? Thanks, wow, thats sweet.. maybe even wittier... say " Diamonds are Forever, Diamonds are a Woman's Best Friend, or if the situation warrants, maybe something even virile like "Rough diamonds may sometimes be mistaken for worthless pebbles. "

Anything, anything that you could look back upon and swell with pride or have nice memories .

But no, I faltered. And How ..

She : You are a diamond.

Me : " Hehe, Oh No.. I am Thagdu ". Exact words.

She : Whats Tagdu ?

Me : scrap metal is called Thagdu in Kannada..

She : Ok... hmmm..

She : :))

Me : Slaps Forehead, shakes my head and thinks " You'll never get it will ya, dikhead "

And I'm like WTH was I saying.. realization always dawns late !! Dude, What were you even thinking ?? You could have atleast said somethin less inane about carbon atoms bonded together.. but no, ure Tagdu.. .. Faux pas, Faux Pas !!

And I feel like Chandler Bing in Friends when he gets stuck in an ATM Vestibule in NY with a Victoria Secret Supermodel when there's a power blackout.When he gets weak in his knees, his heart skips a beat and he blurts out baloney :)

I quote below

----------------------

[ Jill Goodacre is on the cellular phone. ]

Chandler : Oh my God, it's that Victoria's Secret model. Something... something Goodacre.

Jill : Hi Mom, it's Jill.

Chandler : She's right, it's Jill. Jill Goodacre. Oh my God. I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre! Is it a vestibule? Maybe it's an atrium. Oh, yeah, that is the part to focus on, you idiot!

Jill : Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just stuck at the bank, in an ATM vestibule.

Chandler : Jill says vestibule... I'm going with vestibule.

Jill : I'm fine. No, I'm not alone... I don't know, some guy.

Chandler : Oh! Some guy. Some guy. 'Hey Jill, I saw you with some guy last night. Yes, he was some guy. [Chandler strides proudly across the vestibule and Jill stares at him.]

Chandler : Alright, alright, alright. It's been fourteen and a half minutes and you still have not said one word. Oh God, do something. Just make contact, smile!

[Chandler smiles at her, she smiles back sweetly.]

Chandler : There you go! [He continues to smile like an idiot, and she looks frightened.] Chandler : You're definitely scaring here.

Jill : [awkwardly] Would you like to call somebody? [offering phone]

Chandler : Yeah, about 300 guys I went to high school with. Yeah, thanks. [takes phone, calls Joey]

Jill : Would you like some gum?

Chandler : Um, is it sugarless?

Jill : [checks] Sorry, it's not.

Chandler : Oh, then no thanks. What the hell was that? Mental note: If Jill Goodacre offers you gum, you take it. If she offers you mangled animal carcass, you take it.

Chandler : You know, on second thought, gum would be perfection. [Jill gives him a stick of gum, and a strange look] 'Gum would be perfection'? 'Gum would be perfection.' Could have said 'gum would be nice,' or 'I'll have a stick,' but no, no, no, no. For me, gum is perfection. I loathe myself

Jill : Well, this has been fun.

Chandler : Yes. Yes, thanks for letting me use your phone... and for saving my life.

Jill : Well, goodbye Chandler. I had a great blackout. [she kisses him on the cheek] See ya.

[She leaves. Chandler presses his face to the glass door after her, stroking the window lovingly. He then turns to the security camera and starts talking to it.]

Chandler : Hi, um, I'm account number 7143457. And, uh, I don't know if you got any of that, but I would really like a copy of the tape.

------------------------------------------------------------------
And now, Vinu, Raghu et al will laugh till they hurt everywhere.. But thats the pact, always reveal such gaucheries to thy bretheren.. :)

And I'll continue driving a Ferrari, blindfolded and just 'looking' for the Scent of a Woman:)) And if one were to fall off a cliff, then breaking the fall would certainly make me quite weak in my knees, my heart would palpitate 200 beats/min and I would be at a complete loss for words !

Sunnyvale, 2003

Raghu and me return from a car wash and his shiny, 2 door Black Acura Integra is gleaming in the sun. Its an awesome sight. We park and as we get off the car and head towards our apartment, along comes a decent white chick clad in denim shorts, returning to her apartment after emptying the trash. She stops, takes a look and exclaims " Nice Car " !

And I think Raghu will not slip this time, there's an invite.. Thats a subtle pick up line.Surely, he would say " Care for a ride, how about some coffee sometime," or something chivalrous that would set the ball rolling...

Alas, we are living in a world of fools, breaking us down.

Raghu, him the tyro, the quintessential greenhorn, quips " Yeah, you wanna buy it ?? "

I gape. She gapes. Turns around and walks off without a word.. Too numbed perhaps :)And Never to use that pick up line again !

Dude, you wanna a potential date to buy your car ?? Are you even for real.. you ATUL.Chal, lets go on chow on the Haldirams namkeen and watch the Salman Khan DVD we got, for thats what behooves us. And the tale is conference called across the States and to India and laughed at :)

Birthday Bashings - Miami

2005-05-05T01:08:00.000-07:00

Its your Birthday, Go Katte... And amidst that popular refrain, it would start off, a night to remember, no to forget maybe, unfailingly for 3 years frm May 2000 - May 2002. At the fore-front of things and marshalling supplies and stuff would be my confidante, ally, foe yet and Ye Tu Brutus - Vinu.

I remember those 3 parties as if it was yesterday. The junta would pour in, a slow trickle at first, then more of them by the minute as the zero'eth hour (May 2) ticked closer.They made no attempt to hide their intentions and would look at me as if to say " mincemeat".And then the cake would come out, with my name glazed on it in italics, a little ornate frill running around its border. Sigh, how much of it would I actually get to eat though :(( Spare me brothers would be the plea even as they were received at the doors, I'll do anything for you.. I'll drive you to Walmart, the malls, teach you driving, drop you to school, take you to the temple, lend you my car et al... Unmindful of it, they would pat me on the back and file past.

Resigned to my fate, I would recall whatever bad I had done to any of these guys and roomies over the last year. Fought with them at tennis, at cricket, fought over cooking turns, cleaning the kitchen, taking out the trash, buying groceries, paying bills and dues, waking them up at 10 am, finishing up the juice on the grounds that I don't drink alcohol, eating too much of Banana Nut Crunch cereal and not stepping out of the shower for a long time... Geez the writing was on the wall, I asked for it. And Vinu's name figured in all the above misdemeanors. Junta dreaded his wackiness and innovations at Bday Bashes.. Especially if he was dear to someone. Vengeance would be top most on their minds, here was a sitting duck. And the girls would pool in a corner to witness the carnage that was to unfold and utter sympathies and then laugh with the crowd.They were all in it together.

"Ok Katte, time hogya chal, shuru kar.. Jyaada time nahi hai, we have school tomm and stuff..Err, is it.. uh, ok ... You guys can leave, its alrite.. Abbe, whom are you trying to fool, start kar.."The strength of the wolves is in the pack. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. And like a African tribe ritual, the singing and clapping would start as the knife scythed through the cake, everybody joining in the joyful chorus as the prey was being softened up before the kill.
There, that was neat.. and the cake looks good.. Nothing happening yet, maybe they had a change of mind at the last moment.. Heck, its my bday, least I can be is optimistic.But this ? A tad too much... Along comes Shanty, the old rogue, the IIT'ian PHD ( Pretty Huge D***), whom most people can't simply comprehend or simply dread. Here's an iconoclast, a sadist, a misanthrope, unabashedly,vehemently, vituperative at his most modest and a sucker for rocks and the earth's many stratas and tectonic plates. He's a best friend though and we team up to bash the newbies everytime... Surely, he'll just wish me luck and go away ?? I always argue with him about the relevance about Laplace and Fourier in our daily lives, what do those incredulous curves and distributions on his blackboard mean... so many X and Y' s, so many unsolved equations, so much rigamarole.. Lets just keep it simple, shall we ?

He takes a large slice of cake and makes no pretensions about trying to make me eat it.Its too big a slice anyway, you cant have the cake and eat it too :) Whack, full frontal, its on the face.. and the smearing ensues, white circles around the eyes,icing on the eyebrows, hell's broke loose.. Gasps and delighted shrieks emanate from the audience, they want more.. Throw him to the lions, do whatever, vengeance is ours..As if on cue, the whole pack converge in and get into the act. They grab the legs, the arms, the necks and hold me up.. Please feel free to kick this guy, he loves em .. and they count out the age loudly and always get it wrong towards the end and give a few extra blows.. Flogging a dead horse is as close at it gets here. Hold it, who's that ..Giri.. you too !! I can't believe it.. I just dropped you yday to school, picked u frm the airport when you landed, consoled you when you cried like a baby about being homesick... And now you, baddimagane... %^&$$*$($ ....

The only consideration is for the carpet, so they push me out to the portico. Plonk, the first of a dozen eggs is on the head and the yellow liquid is streaking down my back.. God, my janwaara/sacred thread is being abused ! The second is cracked on the forehead, smack and I cant stand the taste/smell.. "Ye le, you want more, take it dudes, give it to him.." And I turn defeatist..Like the hilarious scene / guy in the laugh riot Hungama, I shout" Maaro logo, Maaro.. Maey ek mandir ka ghanti hu kya.. maaro " :))

Vinu has just started.. There comes the toothpaste, the gilette shaving gel and some water... Happy Bday Bhenc***, hope you remember us forever..Oh, here's the sambhar you cooked, we decided not to eat it today out of considerationfor you.. You can have it... Skullduggery at it best..the dal is simply emptied on the head, all my cooking efforts rendered wasted in a second.. Or, probably the scoundrels already had eaten :)Not to miss a trick, them.. Coke follows, fizzed out at godspeed on to my face..Oye Bubbly..Is there anything in the house left ?? Garlic Ranch ?? Sure, he likes it anyway with fries and potato wedges.. I would be sporting a new funky hairdo for a few days.. ! Just as abruptly as it begin, the carnage ends, leaving a trail of destruction in its wake.. I would have to clean the portico as well later and there's no water outlet there :(

And I tiptoe to the bathroom and wipe off the muck as much as possible.. and enter the shower, draw the curtain and let the jet rinse the hair.. There's no shampoo on earth that washes off egg, paste, gel, sambhar, cake and what not efficiently.. None at all, I can vouch for it !
They must be done, how long can they sustain it ? Loud Music is blaring, they must be eating..Too optimistic again.. Its a decoy, they have seen Jackal too many times and how Bruce Willis uses music to nail his victims.. The bathroom locks at the apartment are faithfully compliant when it comes to being picked. A pin does the trick.. The shower and the music drown out the stealth operation and suddenly the shower curtains are drawn apart ! They have upped the ante !

WHAT THE F%^(%*&*^ !!!!!!!!! How did you get in here ?? No, No, No... Please leave me..Vinu, I seriously will mutilate you soon.. Hehehehehe, laugh the hyenas.. "Say Cheese,Katz or whatever you want...Idhar dhek, dont cover your face, smile dude, its your birthday .. there's a happy guy .. You'll be on the net a la American Pie in a few hours from now, we promise.." And they troop out triumphantly.. Digital cameras have so many uses..:(

When God shuts a door, he opens a window... ?? WHERE, WHERE !!

A lil while later, I am mostly clean and step out to the hall to accept the greetings and eat some cake/chips and indulge in banter.. And should be forgiven if I thought it's all over..Hey Katte, actually, we forgot these.. Happy Birthday.. A few more eggs were left over, they hadnt put it all in one basket.. Plonk, plonk, Plonk... !! Again !! ??? This time its a fight, a tussle, a wrestle.. No match, outnumbered, but the will to fight from within.. Bruise a few of them..Its a defeat nevertheless and I cant care anymore.. I just want to eat garlic bread and rice and black beans at the 24/7 Latin cafetaria.. !! And wait for the next bday in our apt..:)

2 more, equally effective bday bashings followed for the next 2 years, I was a Veteran of War, also POW by then.. And to think this time around, at my cuzin's wedding, the same day as my birthday, they announced my name over the microphone, called me on stage and made me cut cake in front of a couple of hundred people !! Fat chance you'll do it anytime eh, Vinu :))

Haalu Hampi

2005-04-26T06:50:00.000-07:00

Today, I just want to go back to Hampi. What a great trip it was.Absolutely smashing weather(In December)made the trip all the more memorable. Derelict, dilapidated, ruined, the many monuments stand testimony to the ravaging,rapacious act of the Muslim rulers as they wreaked havoc on almost every conceivable structure, which had been so painstakingly built, no, hewn out of stone with amazing intricacy, artisans who had the Midas touch. The Virupaksha Temple,where the pin-hole camera effect is to been, the saasve kaalu ganapathi,the Ugra Narasimha (a stunning monolithic),the Vijaya Vittala Temple and the musical pillars (what astonishing deeds), the inimitable Stone Chariot,the Mahanavami Dibba,where the courtesans used to gather in the evenings, Sita Serugu which shows a good resemblance to the trail left behind by an abducted woman,and a myriad of other small monuments, palaces, elephant stables etc are all to be savoured and to muse about the tyranny of those who destroyed it, possibly not even with a wee bit of regret. Why,Oh Why ..!

The Vijayanagar Empire was the richest, and it is said people never closed doors of their houses in fear anytime, such was the opulence abiding everywhere.And after the carnage, 6 months of looting with the help of thousands of elephants, only half the wealth or lesser could be taken away !

Quietly flows the Tungabhadra, but deceptively,for its taken many a prey through its whirlpools. The Puranadara Dasa Mantapa is on its banks, where the great Dasa sat and penned many a melodious song. What it must have been !

And as we glide along the river in the theppa( coricle) ride, the magnificient granite rock formations appear gigantic in front of you, standing witness over the centuries to all that unfolded. Hampi is a challenge to rappell and rock climb.

Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.

Yanthrodhaara MukhyaPraana Temple is a very sacred place on the river banks and as we sit on bank and enjoy the 'Baale Yelle' meal served right on the rocks, there's an unique feeling of the serene and the tranquil. One which I never quite had experienced, though I have travelled so many places. It must have something to do with the presence of the divine nearby, the sounds of silence and the merry gurgling of the river as it flows over many rocks and embankments and leaps into tiny crevices and the like. Too beautiful.

Picked up this quote abt it..

"If dreams were made out of stone, it would be Hampi"

My Seduction Ishtyle

2005-04-25T12:39:00.000-07:00

Looks like I'm the Fall Guy, and am letting the fallen ones R.I.P. Hard to comprehend now, hard to find, not :)

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Aiport Waits & Musings on Arrivals

2005-04-25T03:38:00.000-07:00

By some quirk, people arriving from the West ( Europe, US) are always subject to landing in the wee hours of the morning, anywhere between the stroke of midnight to 5 am.. Maybe's it's a ruse after all, I feel, agreed upon by our wily-nily govt and the airlines and all other cahoots in the fray. For upon landing, the first timers to India would drive through quite deserted streets, wouldnt be accosted by the mendicants at the never -say- go traffic lights, not have to choke on the dangerously high level of pollution that would emanate unfailingly during peak business hours, stop and wait for cows to cross the street, not be subject to total chaos of the driving disorders that abide here and last but not least not to wait patiently as processions, protest marches, ministers and rath yatras of every religion hold sway over public streets, in brazen affrontery and callous disregard,devoid of even a modicum of civility even, and troop through like Hitler's cavalcade.

Lets bring it on them slowly, shall we, lest they never make it a mile out of the airport and decide to return !

It was time to pick a cuz bro from the Airport, the carrier being Air India. Notorious for its timings, a second thought call confirmed it as much.. "Sir, its coming at 215 AM only, yes we know its supposed to arrive at 255 AM sir, but it left Bombay early and will be here in the next 10 minutes !"

Now now, cheat us on time and go by IST, we can cop.. But to go backwards in time and launch off early and land even earlier ! Is the bedraggled govt airline trying to make a point here ? Hoodwinked, we make haste..

Blore Aiport sucks when it comes to waiting. Even buying a ticket and going inside to wait offers no solace as the mosquitoes get to work.. And there's jostling as usual by the free-loading cabbies, ever looking to call some lame guy's bluff and rip him off at the onset..It's all become commonplace now, it doesnt even evict a sigh or a sideward nod of the head.

Over the years, I have been witness to a whole range of emotions that emanate on the sight of a near n dear one.. Shrieks of delight and disbelief, you have grown so much, oh is this the baby, choo chweet -come to me putti, welcome home bouquet, hugs and laughs, arriving students walking with a kinda swagger that is usually a concomitant of youth, a whole lot of questions asked in one shot, complains and grievances at the onset about the airlines/immigration/custom officials/food/toilets at Bbay International Airport/ weather enquiries and what not.Especially, if its been some time since the last trip.. India spells trouble !
On the other side are the sad ones, sobs n tears, consoling and solaces, quiet walk offs into the night and the waiting cars.. Just in Time or perhaps never could make it on time, the aftermath of whatever shocks slowly setting in..difficult to stomach..

And the mind almost always reels back to the personal experiences, 2 of them I was subject to, visiting once during June 2001 ,half way through school and returning for good in 2003 Aug.

June 2001, dad gets himself discharged out of the hospital just to receive me.. And the sight is a very difficult one to take in.. Where's the rest of you, Appa? Ravaged by a complicated surgery and subject to a lot of suffering, resembling a man much older than he actually is, dad stands at the arrival gate, a minnow of the man he was, staring thro his glasses, trying to spot me. And I have to blink hard and understand that it is actually him. The bags are dropped carelessly and a dash made to get to him.. Hugs, tears, laughs too.. How he must have waited ! Mom's greyed a bit and has held fort superbly.. Its a reluctant return at the end of the trip, what with doing the mistake of sitting with parents and watching America, America just a day before the return.. ! A Masters scroll needs to be got, thats all there is to it. A Jaggesh movie though, immediately after, changed the mood to cheer :)

Aug 2003 - 2 1/2 years later, this return is for good..Its been a fun trip though, timing and booking my flight from NY so I could join Viji in London as he returned from the India A Trip, thereby able to watch much of current India's cricket stars at close quarters and get to shake hands and make small talk with some of them on the long flight from London to Bbay.. Hemang Badani, S Sriram, Irfan Pathan, Balaji, Shiv Sundar Das etc, best of all Viji himself ...

And the arrival is much better this time at Blore, much of the Tinni's gang is there, we have 12 huge pieces of baggage between us ( mine 6 suitcases, i'm relocating sir ), his huge cricket kits..Again, dad stands at the gate, refusing to stay home inspite of the cold, and has shrunk further..Pheww, it must have been daunting, old and lonely.. and mom's again held fort awesomely.. Can't thank her enough.. there are 4 cars to choose from and everyone's hungry at 5 30 AM.. Parents are bundled off into unc's car and sent home.. We Boys take a different route, go through shankarpuram and park right in front of Brahmin's Coffee Bar on Ranga Rao Road, famous for its idli vade and eat Idli/Vade/Kharabath at 6 am, greeting the morning.. Mom can't believe it .. You landed and headed virtually straight to the idli hotel ! :))

And as we headed home, the kinda helpless, frustrated feeling that was on the flight back home was all gone. Sure, the return was decided long back, but as I left JFK that day, it was like I didnt make the grade.. the last frontier wasnt conquered..Visiting Boston and MIT/Harvard didnt help, watching students kayak on the St Charles River, getting drenched in torrential downpour in Times Square /Wall Street ( reminds me of a cold send off)and hence missing a visit to Central Park the day before departure .... All of them vanished in next to nothing as the new job and setting the house in order became the top priority...

I digressed, again.. Thnks for putting up if you got to this line !!

Absolutely Gutted at Tinni's

2005-04-25T02:19:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Sunday, April 24th.. Dr Rajkumar and Sachin Tendulkar's bday.. Towering Personalities, larger than life chars yet ? Just a passing thought..

And we took to the cricket with all fervour as usual, in the evening. Evenly matched teams and a competitive spirit..

First Match : Chasing 27 -odd, Viji is playing classily, but an uppish shot, he's gone...It boils down to a few of the last over, Johhny ol 'boy,wily, comes to turn his arm over, mua on strike.. We scramble thro for a couple of singles, Memu fumbles on an overthrow and I make a mad dash and get 2 more..! Manage to pick a slower one and hoick it away to two.. 2 of 3 required.. Surely, we can get it.. A slightly faster, fullish delivery down the leg, I go for the flick.. it flies off the leading edge and Memu makes no mistake..:( Should have waited, should have played it softer.. PHUK ! We lose by a run, its not fair ! We were in the chase.. and how. Nerves !

Second Match : Chasing 24 ,Viji is anchoring the chase, but falls again... Again,it boils down to a few of the last couple of overs, Sanji and me pick up a few more singles, run them hard.. Been sweating, didnt realize.. Surely, we can get it this time ?? .. But wait.. Budan sends in a fast full toss, I instinctively go for the flick, it races off like a bullet..Straight to Raghu though and he catches it at neck level.. Done in again by the only shot I play decently here ! Should have waited, should have played it straigher... PHUK, PHUK ! We again lose by a run or 2 ! Absolutely shattering for our team..

Manage to win the next game, still lost the series 1-3.

So Near and Yet so far.. as is often the case at Tini's.. Terrific sessions, closely fought games,frayed tempers, matches not won till the last ball is bowled/last run scored/last wicket taken..It's not over till the Fat Lady Sings, says Ravi Shastri.. Which Fat Lady ? Crappy Cliches..

There's none greater than the Game ! That everyone will vouch for.. and head to SLV to gorge as usual.. :)

My Brain Gender - I need Love Potion No 9

2005-04-25T02:02:00.000-07:00

Ya, I took the darned quiz, a dangling carrot, curiousity killed the cat.. and my grey cells were rated feminine.. Take it if you dare and be honest in letting the world know.. :) But I'm a tough cookie.. !! Over baked and tempered..

I'll retake this quiz though.. ! Mondays are always clouded vision and hang over , hang dog types ... WTH, i've been nitrogen contaminated as well, I was diving in Goa just 2 days back !

http://www.songlyrics.com/song-lyrics/Searchers_The/Miscellaneous/Love_Potion_No_9/234416.html

Your Brain is 73.33% Female, 26.67% Male

Your brain leans female

You think with your heart, not your head

Sweet and considerate, you are a giver

But you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!

What Gender Is Your Brain?

Vidyarthi Bhavan - An ATG

2005-04-13T07:08:00.000-07:00

Vidyarthi Bhavan lies in the heart of Gandhi Bazaar, one of Bangalore's better known market places, and which bustles with life from dawn till the late hours of the evening.
There wouldnt be too many in the local populace of the surrounding areas or even many parts of Bangalore who wouldn't have heard of Vidyarthi Bhavan, such is the fame associated with the place. For the uninitiated, lest they think otherwise, lemme first say it a small hotel
that is famous for its Masala Dosaes ' and only that. And how famous !
Not for nothing is it called an ATG ( All Time Great).

Inconspicuous it may seem for the first timer and also make-believe what the brouhaha is all about and, surely,unwarranted. For it's got no decor, let alone any ambience that can be inviting and surely there's no music being played at any given time. There are no plush interiors or
cushioned seats to ensconce oneself into. Why, the tables and the bench seats have been the same since as long as I can date back and all they have probably got is a new coat of paint.
The air inside is either damp /hot/stuffy, there are no vents to the outside and the few fans that whir away from the ceiling do little to alleviate anything. Space is always/or mostly at a premium in this long and narrow place, which is just a few feet wide wall- to - wall and runs long like an alley into the interior. People jostle for space in this little area, trying to find a seat as quickly as possible, prying on the tables /plates of those eating, doing their best to figure out who is close to finishing and vacating their seats ! And its located in the midst of the thriving market, between so many shops plying their wares and the fruit and veggie vendors always crying for attention, that one can just walk past it without noticing.

So whats it that draws people to this place time and again, unmindful of what all little
discomforts they have to put up with.. Its the Masala Dosae, as kannadigas would call it.
And eating is believing here ! Folks, I 'm no mean connoisseur of MDs and have sampled them at various places across the country and outside, including the ubiquitous Davangere Benne Masalae, whose franchisees seem to mushroom all over the place(Blore) of late and ppl throng
its small self service joints to binge on the DBMD. Vidyarthi Bhavan though, in my opinion, stands out from the rest and though the difference between it and the others might not be as clear as daylight, there's only a distant second and none too close. I'm sounding really partisan here, ain't I !

Vidyarthi Bhavan is/has been a favourite haunt when the rains come. What the heck, the streets have just been awash with the downpour, the whiff of the rain drenched mud is one to savour and as the rainbow breaks out, you should have no misgivings about wanting to gorge on hot pakoras or Kaali Dosae at Dwaraka( another vintage place), but best of all the Rave Vade and the Dosae at Vidyarthi. Its the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.. :)

And so it was when it poured last Sunday and we were deprived of our cricket session at Tini's ,
Katte, Gunda, Viji and me made a unanimous call that we had to satiate our craving at VB and
set out among the puddles and the ceasing rain and squelched through all the filth washed up by the rain and entered VB. The showers had brought about a change in blowing some cool air thro the hotel and surprisingly the place wasn't too crowded, most folks still waiting for the rains to abate. The only thing we can order besides a MD is a Rava Vade, so the orders are pretty obvious and while we wait for the Dosae we nibble on the Vade.

A sight that catches your gaze is the ingenuity of the waiters as they scurry in and out of the kitchen, pulling of balancing acts of 10-12 plates of Dosaes stacked on on top of the other and never slipping anytime. There's a perfect 10 balance, if you can say so !
The dosaes are finally laid out before us, piping hot and the roast simply perfect to the last crumb. Surely, this kinda resembles the perfect bread toast one can ever wish for, dabbed with butter which is melting by the minute ! The crust too is just the right thickness, a far cry from the pretentious stuff we get at other places, where its so powdery / sharp, that as Gunda says, we end up with bleeding gums by the time we are half through it. Else, they are of the soft n soggy and sour dough combination type.. Thats the pits !

The first dosaes are devoured without much ado and small talk and the only sound is the murmur of appreciation from all of us and the shaking of the head as if to say there's no beating this.. no other place would serve dosae that would break just the way we want it,
or has just the right amt of potato palya inside.. The second helpings too are ordered without much afterthought and they vanish at a slower rate this time, helping out each other ..
Easy does it brothers, we are catching on in years, and this might yet come out of our ears !

And the clintele are there to vouch for all this..Vidyarthi Bhavan dates back years in time and is seemingly ageless. Yes, they have been coming from years for the vade - Dosae tiffin and to exchange news, gossip and pleasantries over coffee. From, the college crowd who pool whatever small change they have and delight in sharing the spoils, the burgeoned well to do middle class (much of it thro sware), the pensioners who enter in lil motley groups and reminisce about their younger days at VB , while deploring the current state of affairs of the govt and the spoilt youth and anything else under the sun, the from- out-of-state junta who leave in nearby apartments /Guest houses to Bawari Lal, whose job as a chief sales guy/distributor for a well known pharma company fetches him a monthly profit of 75 Lakh, all of them flock to VB for the gastronomic adventures that can be so luring. Never mind the wait inside or outside, rain or sunshine, or all the pricking health clips in the the newspapers crying themselves out hoarse about calories,cholestrol, LDL, HDL and the walk- water -diet formula.. Whose bluff are they calling now ! Surely we do all that so that we can partake of a VB special once a while..
All for a price as they say.

The formalities dispensed with, Viji and me trudge back to katte's house near A.P.S College, walking through D.V.G Road and then deciding on whim to go through Bugle Rock..
It's been made beautiful now by ex -Mayor Chandrashekar who revamped the whole Hanumanthanagara Ward and spruced up other places as well during his tenure..
Lush green abides in many places and the air is filled with the sounds of the cricket and the croaking of the frogs and the gay chirping of the many birds that have made this park their home. Works of art have resulted in an impressive display of Karnataka's literary giants
like D.V.G, Da Ra Bendre, Kuvempu, Sir M.V to name few, all of which run around the circumference of the base of the water tank, elucidating the achievements of each, perhaps implicitly goading the onlookers to try and emulate them, or atleast instill a sense of pride that such people once lived in Karnataka and contributed in no small means to its heritage.

Bugle Rock rekindles memories of many a childhood summer, where we caught tadpoles in the ponds and brought them home in small plastic covers filled with water, played hide n seek, where we clambered to the top of a sloping rock and slithered down its smooth surface or simply gathered the cork fallen from trees to pound them and make 'cork' balls for cricket.. Sigh, those were utopian days.. :(

A cool feature is the music system and the many speakers that have been installed around the walkways and other strategic places in the park, not immediately visible, but as you walk by
you notice music wafting out of the ground and take a closer look. We get to hear Michael Bolton crooning "Said I loved you, but I lied, Said I loved you but I was wrong...." Its the local FM station. Better off for the venture, we trudge out of the other gate and go and take to carrom at katte's place.. Ashwath Katte, who wife Kavitha is India No 1 in carrom and whacks us pretty bad in the championship board she has :)

Its been just another day in Paradise, sans the cricket.. No one's complaining, VB filled in the breach and rest assured I would be an ardent Vidyarthi of it .. I am caught in its vice !

Aache Maneya Subbamma Maneli Ekadasi..

2005-03-24T10:55:00.000-08:00

Upavasa.. Ello swalpa tintharanthe Uppitu Avalakki Paaysa.. so goes the song.. And I've never been quite able to break off the stranglehold placed on me by the song ! Come Ekadasi, all sorts of funny lil things happen to the stomach.. and its just the pressure of dealing with the day I feel..Cometh the hour, cometh the man..

The day starts off with like 4-5 soft idlis cooked by amma .. Chutney ( coconut sauce ) accompanies the rice dumplings... thats how they put it on the menu in the US..! Another lil helping is fine, after all I 'intend' to skip lunch..

That should last me half a day...or so I make believe.. but no, its lunch time at work in a few hours..The calling is too pronounced..And bereft of a dabba, i stand in the line with a tray and plate.. 2 chappathis aste, not too bad I say to myself.. hmm, a cup of oily channa, bendi fry, dal.. whats that, they have jamoon now.. Muse at the counter, weigh the pros and cons, surely I need carbs, i'm not taking rice today anyway... The jamoon cup is there in the tray unwittingly, I swear.. What will paapad do, grab a few pieces will you.. ok..duh..

Yes, my next meal would be next morning, this night I will practise austerity and self denial.. Surely, I can handle it..? Piece of Cake.. oopsy, dont remind of food :)

Time to go home.. Nearing it, the bakery has rendered the air with the smell of fresh dough and commandeers me to the scene.. En kodli sir ?? Bread kodi half pound.. Bisi en ide ? Palya Bun Bisi Ide sir, also puff, veg roll, burger.....Why did I ask ! Ok, ond palya bun kodi... ( no food tonite anyway frm Amma's kitchen).. The tang of the stuffed bun barely out of my mouth, I reach home..slouch on the sofa, throw the stuff around.. Appa comes by .. Mukundu Mari, yenaaythu.. U look tired.. ( Ya dad, too much blog read/write !)... But i'm not done yet..Feign a tired look, stretch out, sigh out loud, muse abt life ....Dad's more concerned now.. Ruffles the hair, gives a hug... Would you like some toast then with cheese ?? :)

Can you please, Dad ?/ I luv u.. where's the remote... Friends is on.. not to miss.. Dad comes back a few mins later, with fresh cheese sandwiches... Would u like Complan, kusu mari....? Ya mango flavor, cold.. thnks.. Mom is up.. Eno fitness ge hogalva ( gym, run, something)..
Illamma, ivath Ekadasi alwa... I'm like tired.. Get a smirk... Here's the lady without a drop of water since morning.. aah, she knows me too well :(

A few hrs while away at the road, the biological clock starts ticking.. Hungry, feed me.. What !.. Never won a battle with the devil yet.. Viji, eno oota plans ?/ Hmm, we can eat at my house he says if wifey has cooked..mostly has.. Muli Paratha and Stuffed Badnekaayi... Fruit Salad.. No rice though.. Will do man, its ekadasi after all.. ! Tuck into the first muli paratha with gusto, relish the second one.. modestly decline the 3rd.. Accept Fruit Salad with a lil murmur, not too much though, it can be taken back.. Sankocha Patkolde Thinni... sure, neev sankocha patkolde haaki :)

Phone rings, its Amma... " I have made Avalakki Bisibebath with raitha for you and appa.. Dont make me spill it now, it wont last till morning".. The groan emanating is a veritable one..

This is conspiracy , O lord..

Way, way up Chitragupta sighs, shakes his head and turns another page in my annals. Chapter 29 is nearing a close, he dips the stem of the feather in red ink and daubs the papyrus...Austerity, Abstinence, penance are all stricken off... Humans, U give them all.. and once in a fortnight, they can't hold.. And to think there were some brownie points there for the asking.. Yama's been tough these days..

The bandwagon rolls on, 15 days later the charade has to be re-enacted :)

Efficacy of Omkar's Yoga Class.

2005-03-18T01:33:00.000-08:00

Dr S.N. Omkar is a Research Scientist in the Aerospace Dept of IISC, Bangalore. A savant in his own right, he is more recognized though for his role as a Yoga Instructor, wherein he transforms into a healer during the early morning hours and later in the evening running his Yoga Classes for the young and old alike and bringing about incremental improvement ,if not,holistic changes in the lives of the afflicted.

Being a product of the famous B K S Iyengar School of Yoga, he has been running his Yoga Mandir for a long time now and is a thorough bred tutor and practitioner of the science of Yoga. Having had the good fortune of being introduced to his classes quite a long time back, I am content, and thankful to him, that I haven't been dissuaded to give up on yoga, which is the case with so many who join the classes, only to give up too fast, feeling that it quite doesnt have the neccessary efficacy or the appeal, those who get lured away by the promise of the Salman - ka- six pack ab if you hit the gym, or the slim figurines they can mould themselves into if they jump, hop and skip at the aerobics class with their fancy clothes on ! For yoga is much more than all that, a thing that has to be nurtured through, given time to grow on you and discover the seemingly myriad and rejuvenating influence that it exerts on someone who practises it even with a fair bit of diligency and adherence.

No, I make no claim to being an assiduous student of it ,neither have I mastered the impossible contortions that Omkar demonstrates as if it's child play. Why, I havent been able to master the seemingly innocuous breathing( pranayama) even :) For him though , its just another day in the office ! Yet, I feel I am that much the better off for sticking to a "decently" regular routine and the palpable effect is one to cherish.. Aaha, I can decently do back bending, stand on one leg like a stork, twist at the hip, balance myself backwards on one arm/2 legs, 1 leg/2 arms(straining every sinew though !), hang upside down from the rope and feel the rush of blood to my head and stretch my hamstrings with the wonder-belt.

The lull that sets in during the class and the sounds of silence for the one hour duration serve as a welcome change from all the hustle and bustle that we would have endured during the day. Omkar chips in with interesting anecdotes and quips, a few jokes now and then and makes interesting points like the total lack of ego in sleep and hence why we experience a calm during a snooze, one which vanishes into thin air as soon as we are up and about and get engrossed in our daily activities, allowing the ego to spring back to action. Still, the import of it kinda passes over my head :)

The SuryaNamaskara is arguably the most taught asana everywhere and as we go through the various stages of it, we are told that we need to view it as a psychological, physical and spiritual exercise and its a means of attaining the absolute, the samadhi or whatever it can be deemed fit to call. I can only relate to the physical aspect of it, for after 30 such repetitions, I am waiting to exhale ! There are a whole lot of other exercises too, some done by simply using a chair, or a belt, a couple of bricks, some soft bolsters and the ubiquitous mat. All very scientific,one feels, as we go through it .. Twice a week in the evenings, we go through this one hour ritual, savoring those parts of the class where we can make a decent effort and perform the required asanas, but groaning and protesting when he twists himself into intricate and bizarre postures and asking us to emulate the same.. I wouldn't even want to think abt them..

And when it all ends at the stroke of 8, there's a feeling of a supple dimension being added to our lives, lending a vitality that serves to cope with the rigors we encounter everyday, the stiff and the sedentary et al.

The heart patient who couldnt walk a few steps but now walks a fair distance to get to class, the little child suffering from congenital deformation, the out of shape businessman who underwent a transformation, the many sportsmen who healed from career - threatening injuries, the sugar / BP patients who profess a marked improvement, the asthma afflicted making commendable efforts to alleviate their condition through the breathing exercises... The list can go on, all on whom Omkar has had a healing effect, his purport bearing much fruit when the his efforts are supplemented by his students with a zeal to heal themselves. For you can only lead the horse to the water, but you can't make it drink !

May his tribe increase..

Words are all I have

2005-03-14T02:56:00.000-08:00

Blogging can get addictive. And there's a whole lot of things(and words) floating around in the
mind that I wish I can put down.. Yet, they are all so disparate and nothing
that could be termed as an entirety by itself to pen down.. !

So today, me decided that I'll put down such words that have been whirring in my mind
for a couple of days now, also words that I would garnered frm my daily perusals
of all and sundry, words I would have listened to and picked up from TV,
from inane conversations and anything else in general.. which I fancy using sometime..
What a colossal waste of time ! Should be the most blase blog ever :)

panegyric , gerrymander, genuflect, caboodle, Chrysanthemum, schizy,
rigamarole, crescendo, kamikaze, sniper, cahoots, conniving, chutzpah,
aura, panache, flair, genteel, gauze, zealot, machination, mumble,
schnitzel, scrawny, tweed, prude, lobotomy, aneurism, sashay,
twerp, avast, scurvy, absolute, perturbed, profligacy,
punter, quack, platoon, kaplunk/kerplunk, colloidal, Kruger,
wishlist, winged, warmonger, Riposte, repartee, ruckus..

Enough !

The Hounds of BSKVille

2005-03-08T23:08:00.000-08:00

There they lie, the Lady and the Tramp, ever so benign
What’s all the fuss about, they care not to divine
The people of my street feed them twice in a day at nine
They call their lot the canine sanguine.

Ah, but the ears twitch, for along comes a bovine
For here’s an enemy genuine,
No less potent than the crafty feline
It they definitely should malign
If not it’ll hog their morsels by the trine
And worse, the folks think that its of origin divine.

And so they snarl and crawl
And engage the docile beast in an one sided brawl
The battle is won, the enemy is shun
The curs celebrate with tree pee and a victory run.

Its a Dog's world ??
Dogs Day Out ??
Every Dog has its day ??
WHO LET THE DOGS OUT :)

Memoirs of Miami - Of LAGUBANS, ATULS and PITHRAS

2005-03-08T01:06:00.001-08:00

I was the johhny-come-lately, new kid in town to what would become the bunch of six
who would live in one apartment. Nix, Chobe, Anil and Guru were already there
from a year or more and Vinu had just landed frm Bombay. Landing at Ft.Lauderdale Airport from Montreal and drove through balmy weather, the smug countenance
on me was vindicated. Here is paradise man, 27 Deg C and people cooling off in shorts
and sun glasses..Too much only maga ...Montreal, was, brrrr... - 42 Deg.. Are u kidding me ?? Only extremophiles( yes,there exists such philes,google it)should live there, please evacuate all other signs of human life..

A few days into the new life, the air was abuzz in our apartment with the term of
LAGUBA.. What was it I wondered ?? Should I ask the seniors ? Will they mock me for not knowing ? Yet they asked me " Katte, do you want to be a LAGUBAN ?? "
Are u kidding me, of course I want to be one. I had no faint clue what it was,
but being the tyro, I wanted to be the cool dude, gel along with the guys
and be part of all things that are considered cool. I was thus inducted into
the Hall of Fame and felt proud to be a part of the coterie.We are in this together!
Little did I realize what was in store.

The history of the LAGUBA clan dates back to a certain sullen,troubled night in the CS Labs when the boys were sitting together and mulling what could be done about their misadaventures or lack of as regards the babe scene. Here were a bunch of guys
who hadnt got lucky or laid since the bicentennial and they were in Miami,the Mother Lode of all places and in a thriving university setting, a melting pot. It couldnt get better than this, and yet they languished in their eternal quest for the Bermuda Triangle, the Holy Grail( if we are to go by the DaVinci Code). Surely they were not nerds, why the insolence of folks to think such !

Thus, over many cups of coffe and the ubiquitous snacks from the vending machines,
that night they brainstormed and floated a club called LAGUBA. It triumphantly(and paradoxically)stood for Losers Against Undeserving Bastards ( the junta who got ridiculously lucky)and admittedly all members were pathetic losers or on the verge of becoming one ( as in my case)..Why I jumped headlong into such a club I still can't fathom. Assumptions, the mother of all screwups, to be taken literally here. I somehow have a sneaky feeling that it was derived much along the lines of Calvin and Hobbes GROSS club ( Get Rid Of Slimy Girls to counter Susie Derkins), since nix used to read a lot of them, but hey lets give some credit to the dudes, their mind was in turmoil and they came up with a superlative.

The motto/dogma of the club was clear : Invite whoever wants to join and take recourse to being a sadist,but try and get the heck out of it yourself asap.
Each to his own, but experiences and close shaves had to be openly narrated
and the word passed around of the attempts made by the bretheren.
News of those who got lucky(if well known to us and deserving) was to be applauded
and serve as a motivational shot in the arm. News of those who hadnt become members, were despised and got lucky astonishingly quick was to be washed down with booze, by crying sour grapes, by wondering if they were better off and finally venting ire
about being in each other's company :)

Many were the members of LAGUBA and many a night passed pondering aloud in unison
about the success of the other UBAs/guys. "Bhench***, uska kaise milgaya re, itna lowda aadmi hai woh, that too a phirang girl.. whats that she saw in him .. Chod, abhi tho mey frust hogya,mera number kab aayega.. here pass me the booze.. Cheers..Glug, Glug.. That magarmuch, that pichhli.. " :)
LAGUBANS would also flock to the CCCC parties ( Cake, Coke, Chips and Chootyas) to
celeb some guy/gal's bday or spring break or anything and usually come back bemoaning the lack of class ppl at these parties.

Much water has flown under the bridge since then, and forgetting the many others,of us 6 roomies, I happen to be the Last Man Standing, the Casablanca on the Burning Deck, others having entered into wedlock or some stop gap measure. I dont view them as UBAs though and am vouching for the LILO rule :)

--------------------------------------------------
ATUL :

I am on the NJ Turnpike, Fall 2001 showing my friends from India around, and egged on by them,step up on the gas..Yeah, we had to cover the entire North East in 2 days and I recorded an absurd 1500 miles in 2 days, almost solo, heading as far as Connecticut and Rhode Island the first day, then as far as Luray Caverns, Virginia
and the Shenandoah National Park the next day ! We saw quite a few things too.

Without noticing much, I am doing 97 mph in the 65 zone and whee its fun ! Ha, but within seconds, is the dreaded cop behind me, siren wailing.. " Yaar maga adu".." Makla, thats the Maama here, we are screwed.. hope for the best". Along comes Polly. "License please, do you know why you have been pulled over "? ...Well, I could hazard a guess, eveything was kinda hazy at that speed.. :) The ticket is given and we are cautioned. Cool,nothing major. just 32 miles more than the prescribed limit.. The word has to reach Miami though and I am accorded a
rousing welcome. Cool dude, 3 more miles and you would have touched 100 and been in the slammer.. Awesome, what a guy.. WTH was wrong with you !

Cliffie,the zany Mallu is our new roomie. In a couple of days, its party time again
and I am lounging around as usual, no drinkie/smokie.. Cliffie,though, is sloshed bad and talking like a freak. He eyes me and says " Katte dhek re,the ATUL.. an All Time Udhaas Lund... what were you doing on the NJ turnpike at that speed ? Even SuperMan's lowda itna speed se nahi chala jaayega in space " .. He's clearly out of his wits,but everyone chokes on their drinks, doubling up with laughter.. I wish I can simply disappear :(

------------------------------
As for PITHRA, it stands for Pain in The Royal Ass :)
Ppl who got on our nerve, who we wished would loose themslves, of whom many abounded in plenty. We were royal and they were a pain, as simple as that..Cant think of anything else to write abt this, the acronym says it all !

Deja Vu

2005-03-07T23:49:00.000-08:00

Today's mood : Shut up tight and dont rejoice till the final moment has passed :(
Out of the blue comes the call in the morning " you are required at work" !
Ayyo guru, not again... I should have clamped my mouth and not taunted my
frnds yday night, who had to work today.. what an imbecile I can become..
Shiv Shiva ?

Now, as they are all mooning me to a man and snickering, I sit and work,
missing out all the action of the 1st test b/wn India and Pak !

Rahul, I'll get you yet, just u wait.. Baddi Magane.. TMRH..

For now, I need to listen to George Carlin.

A Yen for Kabini

2005-03-07T03:49:00.000-08:00

It’s been 2 months since we returned from an absolute smasher of a trip to the Kabini Forest Range in the Naharhole- Bandipur Belt, yet the memories of the trip linger on,
one we savor from time to time.

How can we forget the little tiger cub we spotted in the dead of the night, as we intrepidly decided to drive through the main road running through the jungle after dark. First we got to see two shining lil torch like eyes as is the case with any wild sighting in the dark. Pulling up slowly , we are amazed to see a cute lil tiger cub staring at us by the roadside, sizing us up.. Viji at the driver wheel, is confused. He resorts to switching the lights off, then turns them on, then turns the interior light of the car on and we argue in whispers if we should leave the windows on, less the mom decides to say hello out of nowhere. Patient is the lil cub, as if he is understanding this dichotomy of light display and decides he has learnt enough in his first few outings to distinguish a Ford Ikon from other cars and vanishes off into the dark, leaving us wanting for more. Oh Viji, you should have left the car as is when we we first spotted it.. Nevertheless, it’s a rare sighting, fleeting though, and people back at the resort tell us thus.

The next morning, we are out on a 4- wheel, open jeep drive in the thick of the jungle and the air is filled with an expectancy, as we strain our eyes and ears to catch sight of anything. Leopards, tigers, elephants, sloth bears, bison all abound, but are shy by nature.
Accompanying us on the trip is a guy frm IISC who's been studying the pachyderms
from 10 years. We promptly name him M.E. , Master of Elephants ! :)

Deep in the jungle, the driver signals us to keep quiet and tells us that the signs are very suggestive that we are about to watch a hunt in the wild! There is a lull that is almost ghostly and we know not what can materialize out of anywhere. We are in an open jeep !
A whole herd of deer graze nearby. Suddenly the air is filled with the wild, frantic calls of the langur in the trees, an even more impending sign of a warning to the antelopes that a predator is nearby and the whole of the jungle rings out with its shrill cries. What a piercing cry that ! We wait with bated birth, hardly taking our eyes of the prey. Everything is picture perfect. Alas, these humans ! Out of nowhere comes another jungle resort jeep full of people, chattering up a bit and even though hand signals are made to draw their attention to the situation, they are blind to it and ride through the path where the antelopes are grazing.. Startled, the whole herd take off and everything is ruined! So near, yet so far! No sightings in the morning, except for lots of deer and its related species.

Later in the evening, we are on the final trip in the same jeep. All of a sudden, the skies open up and it pours like crazy on us, the jeep has no soft top for protection. Here we are in the thick of the jungle, drenched to the core and shivering! We park near a sign post and clamber up to take refuge in the post. But what a sight! We can see the Kabini River nearby and grazing contently, unmindful of the downpour, on its grassy banks are a whole herd of wild bisons and a female elephant with its little one. Huge stretches of grassy knolls run along the river and this is as close to utopia I feel.

We decide to drive along the grassy bank inspite of the rain and are rewarded.
The bisons are hundreds in number, quite close by. What if one of them decide to charge us ? There are the only animals that the tigers fear to hunt, such is their stocky frame.
Far out on the river, through the pouring rain we spot an island and more.
There stands a couple of Tuskers and a few more elephants playing around in the rain.
Its ethereal and all we can do is take a mental snapshot and leave it at that.
These pachyderms actually swim across the river to get to those places !

We continue on the drive and to our joy , the animal sightings increase.
The denizens of the jungle are more out in the open, foraging for food.
A huge lone Tusker is dangerously close, but bounds off into the dense jungle
as more jeeps arrive to stare at him. Further down is a sloth bear, sitting on it
haunces and gazing at us. More elephant herds are round the corner,
this is amazing, this is manna from heaven, with the rain off course !!
The elusive barking deer is spotted, a whole herd of gazelle race in top flight
beside us, this is a voyage of self-discovery ! And it's all in our state.

We need to banish ourselves to the boondocks more and answer the call of the wild !

Dont miss Kabini folks !

I say a little prayer for you.. for you're a Jolly Good Fellow

2005-03-07T01:49:00.000-08:00

It’s Krishna Janmaasthmi, a Monday morning, early Sept 2004. An all too familiar pall of gloom has set in amongst us and it seems like never ending, has been that way for the past 2 months.

Dr Anupama calls me into the ICU at Bangalore Hospital around 7 am (outside which I've been pacing all night)and lets me have a glimpse at the comatose figure of my dad, who wouldn’t feel a thing even if a sledge hammer were to be deployed on him.. She then proceeds to take out a sketch pad and draw an outline of the gastro-intestinal tract and how the liver is connected to it, how the duodenal ulcers have bled profusely and given the condition of his liver, why it wasn’t able to handle this blood loss and hence ammonia went to his brain, resulting in the coma, and muses that the prognosis of his condition is not too good at all.. "Your dad is caught between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea" are her exact words, admitting they have been completely taken by surprise by the recent turn of events, having treated him so well just a week back. He's in a state of Grade 4 Hepatic Encephalopathy, a coma condition from which many never come back and is bleeding profusely internally. Ideally when I should have been learning Informatica, Cognos and other IT jargon, I am learning what is gallstone disease, how it affects the liver, what a hepatico-jujenostomy is, what causes obstructive jaundice et al..

I find myself bracing for yet another ordeal, this time a much bigger one, a final one perhaps..? A 6th admit to the hospital within 2 months, with 4 of them ending up in being confined to the ICU for long periods can take its toll on anyone's nerves, mentally and physically. The hospitals had become like a 2nd home, such was the frequency with which dad used to take sick each time after being sent home and go back for further treatment. Invariably, I became privy and accustomed to the whole gamut of activities that transpires at these places, new borns being ushered in with bonhomie and proud parents feeling on top of the world, and yet not very far off cadavers being wheeled out
to their final resting places, causalities being brought in, bleeding profusely, lesser by a limb or a finger perhaps, people recuperating and on their way out… Here’s one place where we can both ends of the spectrum. I feel very fatalistic and realize how fragile things are or can get to be within a few seconds. It’s all pre-ordained, ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do and die.. Who said that now!

The main doc, Dr Naresh Bhat, a brilliant GI surgeon, promises nothing, but states that he is confident dad will come out of it once the bleeding stops and he has to carry out a risky endoscopic procedure to enter the GI tract and plug the bleeding ulcers etc.
Seeing him in such a state in the ICU with tubes jutting out of seemingly everywhere is depressing. At 71, what he’s been going thro from 4 yrs, I can’t fathom. And for no fault of his, to think a simple laparoscopic procedure to remove his gallbladder, should result in surgical faults and damage his bile duct and liver … Why, why ? Karma Philosophy?

It’s a sombre Janmaasthmi that night and we just pray. 3 days later, Dad is showing signs of coming out of it and is responding to oral commands and stimuli and starts to moan and groan, not having got back his speech as yet b’cos of some brain lag. A day later, he responds to my queries, the voice sounding like a robot though, but one I will take gleefully! He blinks continuously like a new-born and berates the nurse for not understanding his moaning. Apparently he was asking for coffee from one day, but no one understood him ;)

A week later, he’s back at home and recovering, though much of the liver has been damaged and cannot be salvaged, we have to leave it at that. He’s been better since then,
but the ramifications are present. Still, today as he sings “Hari Kunida” and “Sreenivasa Neene Paaliso” ever so sweetly and chimes in with mom during our evening prayers, we realize there’s probably a reason for him to be with us, a reason only a force unknown to us is aware of. And we are ever so grateful for that.

I can rewind back in time to the years gone by, easily 20 of them. How he used to hustle and bustle with activity, being one of the main support lines for the 18 member strong joint family we lived as for years together, always sacrificing for the house, helping out monetarily when kith and kin were in trouble, always the most sought after by kids to get pampered or to take them out. A hardy Bajaj Chetak served as his faithful companion, taking him into all the gullies and alleys in bizarre areas we never knew, for buying quality stuff, be it vegetables or exotic electronic supplies ;). The Chetak also served as a handy accomplice to take us kids out ( 3 of us at a time) to nearby KrishnaRao Park or Bugle Rock and hit balls miles high in the air for us to catch and then bowl us gentle offspin for us to thrash it all over the park. I was told that I used to be adamant to eat food only if he made me eat it and the trick was to take to me the window sill and seat me on it and show me an eagle in the sky and while I gazed at it, he would slip in many morsels!

Much before the scooter came though, there was the bicycle in which he used to take me to the swimming pool at 430 am for the coaching batch, and it never failed to be a magical ride for me as a 10 yr old to wind thro deserted Gandhi Bazaar at that hour and see all sorts of people getting ready in the dark to ply their wares! Not too confident about the swimming coach’s skills, he would jump into the pool after a while and practically taught me swimming finally. He’s an expert diver and swimmer and I still cannot quite get the fluidity with which he breaks water while diving /swimming! I thought Dad was a champion then, and use to look up to him with awe. My other cousins and friends loved him as well, for he taught them swimming, played cricket and carrom with them, took us all out regularly to the movies, parks and tiffin. Kamat, Ullas and Lakeview were places we looked forward to be taken as well as all the Disney Movies that used to come up in Galaxy and Rex…. Aah, what lovely days, them. I remember how he got the first color TV, a SONY from a friend from Singapore, for the house in 1985/86 to watch the Seoul Olympics and it was simply delightful! The whole house would assemble together on Sundays at Ramayana and Mahabharata time, intently watching the good prevail over the evil and listen to the morals being imparted to us by 2 cute grannies, while chowing on Mandakki Puri and Rave Unde and all sorts of delicacies that would be up for grabs. The house would be the rendezvous point for all functions, weddings and ppl coming from out of town and never short of a crowd!

Realms can be written about dad, but it would never end. I have learnt since that he was a socially active fellow in his young days and had done a whole lot of things from chopping firewood when they were poverty stricken way back in the 1940’s to pulling chariots during festivals at many places and clambering up coconut trees to pluck a whole bunch of them. He was also called to sing bhajans at a few houses, was no mug at cricket, football or the street games and was quite good looking, who couldn’t tolerate people disrupting his well combed hair or wrinkling his carefully, ironed 1 set of good trousers and shirt ! I can recall the ease with which he used to spin a top (bugri) on his palm or strike marbles so accurately and an accounts officer career at HAL gave him an eye for detail for things. An all-rounder in short and an immensely popular fellow with friends and relatives alike, who wouldn’t hurt a fly.

Today though, as he comes up to me frequently, during the nights or whenever I am at home and tries to find succour in me to ward of the depressions and sleep disorders brought about by the state of his health, I feel life has come a full circle for him. It’s the circle of Life, it’s the wheel of fortune goes the popular song. And I feel bad for being away when he took ill and suffered for 4 years, but never called out to me. What parents endure for their children, the unconditional, unrequited love they always have to offer!

You’ve been terrific, Appa and nothing less. And I would be glad if I can give back even a lil bit of what you have done. I know I can’t. I love you, TMD.

Sun Champa, Sun Thara, Koi Jeetha, Koi Haara...Its just another manic Monday..

2005-03-06T21:16:00.000-08:00

Que Sera Sera, whatever shall be, shall be..
Though impractical, its nice to become myopic and cry sour grapes
for a short while, as you try and pursue all lines of thinking
and arrive at the same conclusion, thus vindicating that the
grapes are indeed sour, bitter and I am better off for not
getting them... :)) Huli draakshi, thu..

Today's mood :
nonplussed, digressive, go for pot,turmoil within,
meandering mind.. all effective tools for the devil's workshop.
A possible outcome of a kinda hectic weekend ??

Nothing to do yet today, will read Notes to Myself again, its bailed me
out of such quagmires before. And also reproduce a few here, cos I have
all the time ! Hugh Prather has proven to be an alter ego for millions !
-----------------------------------------------------------------

"When I see I am doing it wrong there is a part of me that wants to
keep on doing it the same way anyway and even starts looking for
reasons to justify the continutation."

" Just when I think I have learned the way to live, life changes
and I am left the same as I began. The more things change the more I
am the same. It appears that my life is a constant irony of maturity
and regression, but my sense of progress is based on the illusion that
things out there are going to remain the same and that, at last, I have
gained a little control. But there will never be means to ends, only means.
And I am means. I am what I started with, and when it all over I will be
all that is left to me"

" There are occasions when I talk to a man who is riding high on some recent insight or triumph, and for the moment life probably seems to him
to have no problems. But I just don't believe that most people are
living the smooth,controlled trouble-free existence that their careful
countenances and bland words suggest. Today never hands me the same thing
twice and I believe that for most everyone else life is also a mixture
of unsolved problems,ambiguous victories and vague defeats - with very few
moments of clear peace. I never do seem to quite get on top of it.
My struggle with today is worthwhile, but it is a struggle nevertheless
and one I will never finish"

" Why do I judge my day by how much I have accomplished"

" As I look back on life, one of the most constant and powerful things that I have experienced within myself is the desire to be more than I am at
the moment - an unwillingness to let myself remain where I am - a desire
to increase the boundaries of myself - a desire to do more, learn more,
express more- a desire to grow, improve, accomplish, expand. I used to
interpret this inner push as meaning that there was some one thing
out there I wanted to do do or be or have. And I have spent too much
of my life trying to find it. But now I know that this energy within me
is seeking more than the mate or the profession or the religion, more even
than the pleasure or power of meaning. It it seeking out more of me ;
or better, it is, thank God, flushing more out of me. "

"Eloquence is sometimes lyrical, sometimes powerful, but always an
overstatement and always a projection"

And lots more...

But I need to stop .. for I just learnt that tomm is a holiday
on account of Maha Shivaraatri !!
Yippe, Tweedledum, Tweedledee is out, I am cherubic,cheerful,
chivalrous, a lot more.. Aha, the vicissitudes of life and the
simple pleasures that change me !

Memoirs of Miami – Revisited

2005-02-25T04:33:00.000-08:00

Posting these so that Miami junta can recollect the good times.
Feel free to remind me about more folks,I’ll add them.

Time : sometime in 2000 Fall

The place: #610, Fontainebleau Milton – Miami, the home of us Magnificent Seven.
Always the place for the crowd to hang out, partly because we had all the gizmo
(29 inch TV, DVD, VCR, Cable TV, yes with Playboy, plushy sofas weaned from the
departing, stacks of movies, old and new in English and Hindi, a CD Player, a 3 bedroom with lots of space to doze, fridge usually stacked with booze of all types, lots of junk food and last but not the least, the chef, yours truly, always willing to churn out something for the hungry dogs.. Always being lured by false promises to cook for the imbeciles, grrr…)

Around 12 of us( ya, that’s how they used to flock) are tucking into my just hot out of the stove BisiBeleBath, garnished with chips, garlic ranch (yeek, these weirdos), raitha and Curd rice. We have just returned from Tennis and Basket Ball and are famished.Watching Friends on TV, the mood is raucous.

In walks Poorni, the new Tam frm Blore. Still has the Tam drawl though when speaking English. She picks up a plate, pours herself BBath and tastes it. “ Sakath aagide kano Mukunda, nam amma kooda hinge maadalla”…. Its been a tough first sem for them and they cant cook for nuts at their home. 5 girls, that too!

“Sari hoge, chenaag thinnu and nim amma ge tuition togolakke helu nan hatra.” !
She’s always teased and ridiculed. Imagine, she cooked sambhar once with Channa
Dal. A butcher’s knife was needed to slice through and hand out portions of the dal
for the folks to eat with rice.. What fun.

She walks up to john, who at 31 is the oldest in the group.
“Are you tired, john”she asks innocently.
I can’t resist taking another dig that comes up from nowhere and say

“Why Poorni, are you looking for tired men now”).

It’s a sorta pj, but the whole house is doubled up with laughter, some choke on their food, some spit their drink… All in all, an unqualified success.! Not to mention, I am chased into my room and whacked with the pillow soundly.

Even to this day, whenever we bump into each other on chat, we recollect and laugh about it. Stupid Poorni. Stupid is what Stupid does says Forrest Gump.

------------------------------------------------
Rao from rural Andhra (the first name is too twisted to say) is the new temp boy just landed from India, in our house for a few days. These floating populace usually got on our nerves, but we used to hold up till they found some home. Plus, many would come and drop them off here. Swines!

Rao has got ready to attend his first day at school, even before any of us are vaguely awake. Dressed like the typical greenhorn-on-arrival from India, he’s in blazing formals and leather shoes and all ! We stare at him. Dude, its 90 Deg F out there and u’ll be roast turkey by the time u are out of this apt complex. Change into something easy!

But that’s not what caught our attention. Outside on the balcony (we lived on the 6th floor) someone’s tried to open the insect netting that is put up.

Rao is keen to let us know..

"Katte, I tried to open it to throw this banana skin out. I saw a canal running down below."

“You did what now!!!!?

“I ate a banana and wanted to throw the skin out”

And did you call the cows as well ? Its Vinu, my Bbay roomie. He’s besides himself with rage and just hates these type of newbies.

Sorry ?? says Rao. The cows, bhenchod, mathar***, did you call the cows so you could feed them the banana. Better, you could have jumped out too into the canal. Phuk, Phuk !! I’m half laughing, half angry yet.

Saale, thereko itna bhi commonsense nahi hai kya… There’s something called a Trash can where we put garbage. We don’t dump them on streets. Else, we get dumped out. Katte, why do u allow such guys in our house ?? Im calling the ISA grad rep and telling him about this and tell him to include it in the list of Donts when he sends out an email to the ppl coming from India. This is the pits!

“Oh, sorry I didn’t know” said Rao. Ya right, dikhead and if you had succeeded, we would have been out too, looking for a new place to live in. Get out of here!

----------------------------------------
Arvind is the other new Andhra guy, luckily not in our house though, but the same complex. But he did enough to have the whole junta laughing.

He’s trying to call India and is the only guy at home.

He goes 91-1, and halts. Weird, there’s a voice urging him to report the scene of the incident, crime, accident whatever and any nearby landmark and help will be there soon.

Our dude is puzzled. He switches off and tries the number again.
91-1… same voice again, same rapid queries. Yem Ra idi maama??

He will try one more time; if it fails he’ll ask the folks after they return home.
9-1-1… “Please report your problem, be calm, someone will be there soon”!

He gives up, switches off and settles to doze on the sofa.

Within minutes, 3 fire trucks, a small platoon of police cars and medics
are screeching their way into our apartment complex and all eyes are on them
as they get down and rush up the stairs to the apt from where the call came.
They knock impatiently and take up position to break the door.
Arvind, the cool guy, opens the door and blinks at the scene in front of him.
“We got an emergency call from this place, whats the matter”

Emergency ?? Nothing, all ok. I am just sleeping, new from India.

Are you sure, didn’t you call for help ?? No sir, I didn’t.

The cops shake their head, they could have sworn that the operator said she got 3 calls from this apt ! They look around the house and go away, puzzled and all’s well at Fbleau again. In the evening, the news breaks out and the whole of the Indian junta are dumbstruck at this latest gaucherie by the newbie. What else can they add to the rule book!

Some of us suggest a Pied Piper for such folks!

Les Miserables

2005-02-22T05:21:00.000-08:00

Thinking about Ajji for no reason (well, I just blogged her posthumously sometime back),
I am reminded of the values she espoused, of give,sacrifice and love.. What was it that drove her
to constantly do this ?? She had no formal education, she read no great philosophies,
yet with her vision rendered hazy by cataract, she would dash off at the slightest opportunity
across the streets with old clothes, money, food or whatever she managed to smuggle
under her bed and give it to the needy, if not atleast feed the cow across the street with rice and banana unfailingly!! She was truly remarkable and many in chamarajpet loved her as the cute lil adorable ajji.. Ditto, where she spent a lot of years in the US, endearing the neighbours,
the doctors and nurses alike !!

Im disturbed today abt such ppl who constantly stake their lives for the betterment, the safety of the others.. Whats in it for them.. Why dont I take up the gauntlet as well... will such a moment ever come..

Was Mother Teresa a Pariah at the Pew ?? Whats with Medha Patkar and the Narmada Bachao Andolan ?? Will she ever succeed amidst all the tripe that prevails in India....

Oh, not to forget all the soldiers who man the border, assembling veritable human bastions,
vanguarding our citadels, and fall prey continuously to the enemy's 'accidental' crossfire..
While we are ensconced and in pursuit of knowledge, opulence and potpourri.

Will there be a denouement ever with the feisty neighbours... Will the children of a lesser god ever get past the malaise that afflicts them on all fronts ever so often... If so, what role will they have to play.. Whats in it for me ! Why am I perturbed.. What a maze it can become..

------------------------------

The Charge of the Light Brigade

Alfred, Lord Tennyson

1.
Half a league, half a league, Half a league onward,All in the valley of Death Rode the six hundred."Forward, the Light Brigade!"Charge for the guns!" he said:Into the valley of Death Rode the six hundred.

2.
"Forward, the Light Brigade!"Was there a man dismay'd?Not tho' the soldier knew Someone had blunder'd:Their's not to make reply,Their's not to reason why,Their's but to do and die:Into the valley of Death Rode the six hundred.

3.
Cannon to right of them,Cannon to left of them,Cannon in front of them Volley'd and thunder'd;Storm'd at with shot and shell,Boldly they rode and well,Into the jaws of Death,Into the mouth of Hell Rode the six hundred.

4.
Flash'd all their sabres bare,Flash'd as they turn'd in air,Sabring the gunners there,Charging an army, while All the world wonder'd:Plunged in the battery-smokeRight thro' the line they broke;Cossack and RussianReel'd from the sabre stroke Shatter'd and sunder'd.Then they rode back, but not Not the six hundred.

5.
Cannon to right of them,Cannon to left of them,Cannon behind them Volley'd and thunder'd;Storm'd at with shot and shell,While horse and hero fell,They that had fought so wellCame thro' the jaws of DeathBack from the mouth of Hell,All that was left of them, Left of six hundred.

6.
When can their glory fade?O the wild charge they made! All the world wondered.Honor the charge they made,Honor the Light Brigade, Noble six hundred.

Cricket at Tinni’s and Rendezvous at the Road.

2005-02-21T04:58:00.000-08:00

Tinni’s school (pronounced as Tin-Nee) is a small, government educational institution located in the heart of Gandhi Bazaar/ Basavangudi. Under the aegis of the Lions club, it caters to the poorer section, functioning as a primary/middle class co-ed school. A considerable plot of land, more like in the shape of the number 4, within its premises is left for the children to mill around and play, eat their daily lunch and go about their school/extra –curricular activities with gay abandon. Of course, Tinni’s is a nickname that has caught on and come to stay for years!

After school hours, this piece of open real estate transforms itself into a priceless spot for the teenagers and above to indulge in their sporting activities, it being just about the right
size to indulge in a quick game of cricket, lagori, marble or at times even a tennis court!
Suffice it would be to say that the turf is hallowed and carries a lot of history and nostalgia on its side, so much so that when plans got underway to dig up the place and erect more buildings in that area, it was vehemently opposed by the young and old alike and the project successfully quelled. The orchestrated mutiny that brought about this moratorium was greeted with much cheer and the junta involved in it labeled as martyrs for the Greater Common Good of the sacrosanct soil. The vitality emanating from its premises is something to cherish and thrive, a mystical miasma which encompasses all those who flock to it and I have never tired of it since I was first introduced to it almost 15 years back by the achari brothers (read as Viji and Sanji), whose grandparents(hence deceased) and uncles reside right opposite the school.

Surveyor Street starts (or ends) bang opposite the school and the “road” or the “Baandhuanavara Beedhi” as we call it has been inhabited over the years by a motley group of people, quixotic in their own way, and unfailingly lending to the charm of this idyllic street. The genesis of our present day ‘gang’ of boys was here and we are now a tightly knit coterie, numbering around 20, most often more and have long since permeated that membrane or veneer of friendliness, where short lived pleasantries are exchanged and left at that. No, for we are much, much more than that now and to a man we live off and help each other and socialize as a group. Yet, familiarity breeds contempt as they say and the odd sparks do fly, but there’s always someone with a sagacious 3rd eye who would rise above the situation and placate the ruffled feathers. Only a few actually dwell in the road and the rest of us are from other nearby places, yet we meet at evenings after work and take turns at jibing each other or the passers-by, ogling at the fairer sex, tucking into chaat or “light tiffin” at the nearby hotels and usually retire at the stroke of 9 to the clap of 1,2, 3, Dismiss… Now, now I am just kidding on the last part ;)

Cricket at Tinni’s has always been a much look-forward-to affair and many an epic battle has been fought on the turf, wherein us boys divide ourselves into two teams and start of usually a 3 match series, 6 overs a side. The talent and class on display is nothing amateurish and there are players who have represented the state and the country in cricket, the most famous of them being my best buddy Vijay Bharadwaj, who has represented India/Karnataka in cricket. Given this talent pool, the contests are doubtless competitive, enthralling, with fortunes vacillating and tend to rest on a knife’s edge.

The charged up atmosphere brings about many spats amongst the two teams, unfailingly, and in younger days and years gone by, maiming and mutilation of the body parts was always a distinct possibility. Free flowing hostility is never far away and the vitriolic, colorful lingua franca would even make sailors or Captain Haddock, him of Tintin genre, proud. For us this is the Coliseum and it can’t get bigger than that. And to say that Cricket is called a Gentleman’s Game, why now!!

In the years gone by,(I can date back to 15 years easily, but the greats have been around longer ) we used to play daily, after returning from school/college, but had to bow to the passage of time and go by the dictate of the job –oriented life, a far cry from the chepekaayi college days, where we chose to be oblivious to structure, cheated on time, never went by the clock and reveled in the razzmatazz.

Now cricket is played on Sunday Evenings and all other general/public holidays and though the average age is hovering close to, if not, touched the 30 mark, and receding hair lines and increasing waist lines are an almost natural concomitant, what the guys lack in age and ability, they more that compensate for with spirit and give it all during those 2 hours..! And yet, almost magically, notwithstanding if the last match was bitterly contested, a lull sets in after the play and off the field things take a different turn. What transpired on the field of play is left at that and everyone makes a bee-line to the nearby SLV café to gorge on almost the entire menu they have on offer. Food for thought? Or is it satiating the war mongers? No one could care less, all they go by is the KISS (Keep it Simple Stupid) rule.

Here’s to the road boys then of Tinni’s and may their tribe flourish! Halleluiah !!

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As an afterthought, henceforth, I plan to document every Sunday’s session and save it for posterity. Also do a write up on all the boys and append a few pics. Lets go live comrades !!

An Eulogy to Ajji

2005-02-20T21:47:00.000-08:00

This I have to reproduce.. I can never tire of reading it.. And it was written by Radhakrishna Uncle when dearest ajji passed away in June 2000.... 5 months after I left for US.. oh, how I wept at school and home alike at that time :((... We still miss you ajji, and try to emulate you
in whatever miniscule way we can, but we fail miserably.. !!
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Dear Bramhani,

Here is an attempt to express the inexplicable sense of gratitude &tribute to your mother:

Alas, one knows not a person as a person is, because of the vial of web of our own likes & dislikes. Few can cast aside their vial to see andto be seen as is. They are Godly people. They fear none and scare none. Amma was one such jewel; a treasure house of virtues clothed in simplicity. She was an embodiment of love, compassion and generosity. She was the rowing ambassador of friendship, cutting across the linguistic, cultural and class barriers. She was highly evolved and far advanced for our times. Her worldly innocence masked her spiritual wisdom. She lacked none in wits & humor. She healed her personal pain in the joy of service & care for others. She knew the secret to success is to go with the flow without being swept away. Her life is a living parable but her legacy is love. No one can forget the smile on her face that had no wrinkles of frown. She was a blessedsoul. Blessing indeed was she for all of us. She has left behind a treasure of values for us to reflect and to emulate. Blessed indeed are we to be her children inheriting her wealth of virtues. May we cherish her memories with joy and excitement and let us be greatful such a great soul walked this earth & lived in our midst.

I salute to that magnanimity, I revere that spirit and I prostrate tothat saint.

H.S.Radhakrishna

Goa -Of Dolphins, damsels and dumbasses..

2005-02-16T08:26:00.000-08:00

Just writing this to chronicle recent events for a future read, not a typical blog I would say..
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Early Jan I went to Goa to meet up with Miami dosts Vinay D Souza and Nikhil Iyer and pursue my scuba certification as well, besides I hadnt met them for more than 2 years.
Both of them are frm Bbay, frm a very obscure place called Mulund, though they beg to differ and make tall claims to its prominence in Bbay. Much has been said and done about this amongst us and spats were common in Apt 610, FountaineBleau Milton, Miami and yet
no one concurred abt it.. A schism had set in with the Blore Boys making a mockery of Mulund and referring to them by the last 4 letters of that word. Battle Lines were always drawn and
many a boring night was whiled away, mocking at the mulundites. But they were/have been my best friends since we first met..

Nix happens to be one of the most savvy palghat iyers I have ever come across...
Suave and succinct, he is a great guy to get along with. The less said about his partner and my roomie for 2.5 years, Vinu, the better !! Here was a child who had probably leapfrogged into adulthood and was endlessly enamored by Video Games and WWF and the like ..
his childhood was fraught with misadventures I heard and he was a mocking bird :)
These two were frnds frm yeons though... hmm.. a conspiracy of the forces of nature ..

Katte or Katz was what everyone called me, nobody knew Mukund.. :(
After 2.5 years, Nix greeted me with the usual " Yo Katte, bolimagane, wassup " at Calangute Beach :) These guys get wind of the most imp words quickly and never let go.. !!
We on our part just let it pass. Well, we have lil choice, what ?

Accompanying Nix and Vinu on the tour was their frnd frm Bbay who they called bhiki..
It would not be far off the mark to say Bhiki was very much like Jason Biggs in American Pie,
a greenhorn and keen to test out his virility :).. But alas, Bhiki just lacked the wherewithal
to even make the right first moves.. Many were the chances that went abegging at the beaches and later at the clubs..

Nix summed it up nicely later :)) I quote below...

"being the quintessential lauda that he is, bhiki did not get laid. seriously, that guy will spend that night looking for his own lund even if the chick spreads herself before him begging for a good"stuffing". he should have smoked her like a cheap cigar, i say. instead he was
lollygagging all weekend driving around in a dumb scooty and checking out the scenery in goa. fucking dumbass." :))

On my part, I stuck to my task of getting my scuba diver license done with and what a joy it was .. Going to Grande Island on the boat, diving Suzy's Wreck, Lobster Cove, chasing away scorpion fish, hermit crabs and the like, being tagged by Angel fish, gazing silenty at schools of Sergeant Majors and the best part after surfacing and heading back to shore - watching the
Indo-Gangetic River Dolphins flip at whim in the open sea and dive ever so gracefully..

Goa rocks ! In the Winter though...

Insomnia

2005-02-14T17:53:00.000-08:00

Its 5 am the day after Valentine and I can't sleep anymore. Stirred out of deep slumber, I am once again privileged to listen to the Bohemian Rhapsody that neighbour Gowda dishes out daily and unfailingly as he indulges in clearing his throat, cleaning his tongue and divesting himself of all the filth as he readies himself for another day at the Mysore Paper Mill.. Please Mr Gowda, can u stifle that a tad bit ?? We neednt be privy to your ablutions.
You needn't herald the morning for us in such a pompous manner, let gently come the dawn. Besides, we have the mullahs in the mosque already beseeching Allah and not to be outdone,the nearby Manjunatha temple has already sounded its symbals. Edellu Manjunatha !

Yday was Valentine... WTH is all the fuss about I wonder.
Just an excuse for some ppl to goof off with members of the other sex, for others to get laid,yet for others to propose, maybe dispose... Whatever, I could care less.

But what stood out as a surprise was the marked absence of the vigilante in Lalbagh yesterday evening. Where there always used to be a whistle blower to drive away mollycoddlers, there was none. It was as if the authorities too had decided to recant and call a moratorium to their daily ritual. And so, ppl( read as couples) in Red milled around, fervent, unmindful of the voyeurs, the monkeys in the trees and the ubiquitous dogs. If someone were to sing Lady In Red, it would have caused a riot :)

I strapped on my MD player again and set the volume to max. Bonnie Tyler starts out crooning " A Total eclipse of the Heart" and though I dont really patronize the song a lot, it serves to rev me up on the first lap as I start my jog. The next track is what I wait for with a lot of zeal and I never seem to tire of it... 4 mins into the jog, the track changes and Mark Knopfler's arguably greatest opus "Dire Straits" is simply to die for. If Sultans of Swing sets ur adrenaline pumping, Romeo and Juliet soothes whatever frayed nerves I would have had.. A classic rendition I say...
"All I want to do is kiss you through the bars of a rhyme, Juliet I would do the stars with you anytime"

Halfway around the lake, and the sun has set in.. Lalbagh is superb in twilight, serene and tranquil,and a far cry from the early morning jog I usually detest, where ppl are seemingly everywhere, and jostling for space. The lights are on and the reflections in the water make a pretty sight. Lake Placid. Its a good thing they have cleaned up the lake and stopped the Ganesha immersions here. What they resort to in the name of God !
Whats needed is a litany for Lalbagh.

The sprinkers are on and douse me with fine spray as I turn the corner for the last lap, as if urging me on to complete the run.. Viji always says " Just when u reach break point, u need to gun on, unmindful of the body's beseeching, maybe disdainful even.. " I am aiming for the runner's high here, where the state of mind is such that it solely dictates everything and u tire only when it tires.. Need to up the ante..Phew 40 mins, thats a new one. Run Forrest, Run!
I couldnt have done it though without the music I feel. Eye of the Tiger and Peter Frampton, Men from Down Under, Eric Clapton, CCR, Led Zep, Cat Stevens,Beatles, Hungry Eyes (where Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Grey create celluloid magic in Dirty Dancing) the list goes on..

Gazing out at the lake, there's something with the finite aspect of the lake that I relate to. Solitude is nice, soliloquy usually is not far behind. Hakuna Matata, what a wonderful phrase.

" And the waitress is practising politics,
As the businessman slowly gets stoned,
They are sharing a dream called loneliness,
But Its better than drinking alone "

"Father Mckenzie, writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear, what does he care, All the Lonely People, where do they come from."

In the Occidental, there is something to loneliness thats always been a feature.Perhaps thats why they belt out these numbers.. and get stoned, attend rehab, file for divorce, smoke weed, pay alimony, hire lawyers et al..

I'll take India anyday.. As They say, " Come to India ,1 billion people can't be wrong' :)

So much so for a first blog.. For the uninitiated, its a novelty. What a cliche,that...!

A First Foray

2005-02-12T08:48:00.000-08:00

I should write more soon. Carpe Diem